sat down to write a story for the school newspaper, this popped out instead.

[Immortal]

title i am author zds date 1/22/01

i'm selling adjectives by the pound, i've got too many to throw away
i'm downing people by the round, too many things they'll never say
i'm trying to forget you and everything you've done
i'm believing and recieving voices (they tell me "she's not the only one")
i'm on the verge of giving up, losers never win
i'm headed out the door tonight to prove i'll try again
i'm asinine, i'm police line, i'm "do not cross" in yellow
i'm on the brink and i might think you're made of hollow metal
i'm corrupt, and i'm corrupting you
i'm jumping up and down fighting feelings that you knew
i'm attempting to drown myself in this sea of self pity
i'm up to my neck now, dissolving in this life (so shitty)
i'm not complaining, of course some have it worse
i'm in need of rewrites, because i hate this last verse.
i'm hooked on you, and there's no relief
i'm stuck in a maze of cliches, some long and some brief
i'm pardoning the image of a silky, calm lit you
i'm joking and i'm choking on the chicken bones you grew
i'm you if you were me, but now i'm here and we'll never be
i'm understood? i'm incomplete? i'm off the ground you're on your feet
i'm typing things, you don't make sense i wish you'd get down off my fence
i'm in need of help but you don't see
i'm nothing without what you've done to me
i'm here not there, you're everywhere my plane my jet
i'm gone away, have nothing left
i'm dead to her and alive to you but you've got someone twice as new
i'm trying to partake on this a gentle ride (?) a softer kiss
i'm juxtaposed inside this web i cannot get you out of my head
i'm in, i'm out, i'm short and stout
i'm going away forever now, i loved you then but i take my bow.


-goodnight-

[Plaidsurfshorts]

Nice work!!! Very, very cool!
Incidentally, I commend you on your courage to write for the school newspaper -- I never had, nor do I currently have the guts to do that!


"What is a million people...listening...to your music?" - JA, "SVT".

[brokenarrow]

OH Immortal! THAT was Fantastic!
I just read it twice......with each line, the eye reads faster and faster.....

that my friend.....kicked ass!/images/cool.gif

[share]

tip you over and pour you out

(onto a blank page)


thanks again immortal

[Ger]

*read this...several times*

*All is Love, Love is All*

[anescence]

Another great poem /images/smile.gif thanks zach

~~~~
My mind not only wanders....it sometimes leaves completely /images/crazy.gif

[takemyhand]

Another great one, as always thanks for sharing.

Anne

take my hand, not my picture

[anotherchild]

You really are amazing.

To the TOP!

[bluecow]

wow... i really liked that, thanks. /images/smile.gif




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-ironic that they go for the eyes first..