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13throwcenter
03-17-2002, 09:55 PM
plunk my butt down right here and load a bowl of green for the occasion. i keep my weed in a baggie in a basket that holds my incense in a kitchen cupboard.... last week i tossed a few candles in that basket. today my weed tastes a little floral-ish. /images/crazy.gif

did you know that you shouldn't smoke using a lighter? i mean, duh, that only makes sense- you don't want to be drawing butane into your lungs. i don't know why i never heard that before, or had that thought myself before. my genius ex-drug addict friend recently got on my ass for smoking weed using a lighter. and then for not letting the sulphar? sulfar? burn off the match first. doh! "i was an addict, but i was a healthy addict" he told me. I miss that crazy a-rab tonight.

i dropped asher off with his dad tonight... this was our "short week" together, as he calls it... we do 3 days with me, 4 days with him, 4 days with me, three days with him... so i won't have him back until Thursday evening after work. He's grown quite fond of me lately.... it's heartwarming. I miss the littler bugger when he's away.... there was a time when i didn't, but i do now. motherhood is no easy role, people. a few of us here know- nan, cath, ards, p-girl, share... you girls rock. /images/laugh.gif.... motherhood has been no easy role for me, which anyone who knew me in my early twenties would find unbelievable- hell, i worked as a live in nanny for a year from 21-22, that's how into it i was.

having an unexpected pregnancy was tough- i had this image of how my life was going to go and that blew everything wide open, but i think having the child of a man i wasn't in love with was harder for me to swallow.
i think tho, it might well be the reason Asher has turned out to be such a remarkable kid. each of us had good to give someone... we just didn't like giving it to each other, so Asher received it all. lucky kid? i guess that remains to be seen. he seems pretty well adjusted about our having split up, either that or he's doing an incredible job of hiding it because from what i sense, he's a happy kid. Happy kids grow into happy adults, and isn't this all any mother wants?

so yeah, i miss the little shit when he's gone, but it also means i'm going to have to wait four days to start the next chapter in Harry Potter!!! yes, i am a self proclaimed Harry Potter geek. What fabulous stories! I consider these books the modern day Chronicals of Narnia and that's saying something coming from a person for whom "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" remains her all time favorite book.

okay.... gosh isn't it fun when i am stoned? you get to wander all over my brain with me /images/wink.gif hehe... (where is kate when i need her?!) ... so i was just thinking about some of the "conflicts" that have whipped up around here lately, and dudes- look at my personality profile, i hope you realize the way i communicate my opinions is just one aspect of me. i can be particularly sharped tongued when it comes to battling between what i believe to be right and wrong. i've always been this way- does that make me a bad or mean spirited person? no. I've got a big heart.... those who really know me know that it encompasses this entire planet. THAT is why i speak with the fervor that i do. I want great things for the people on this planet and i see a whole lot of bullshit fucking that up. That is insanely frustrating for me. Just stop the fucking bullshit and live the way that feels most natural to us. It shouldn't be so hard for us to do.

so, yeah, i can come across as a MAJOR BITCH and I'm really fine with that. because i know that that part of me is but a small percentage of a rather complex whole that plays its' part when it's called upon.

/images/smile.gif



"My mom likes chocolate and Pearl Jam."~ Asher, 2-9-2002

peacefulness
03-17-2002, 10:19 PM
Aw, the Chronicles of Narnia. The interns at the wesley have been reading books from that series (not all of them and not in order, which is fine but kinda silly) Right now they're reading The Silver Chair. Apparently The Chronicles of Narnia are suppose to have all kinds of christian symbolism. I don't know how 'true' that is... it may all be in the interpretation. They sound like good books. I think I read The Lion, THe Witch, and the Wardrobe a long time ago, but I don't remember it too well. I need to read it again. If I was just more of a reader.

~Melanie

"Everything looks peaceful from 1353 feet."~Ferris Bueller

SickForSykora
03-17-2002, 10:25 PM
Dude! I love The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe!
I first read that book in the 5th grade! It was way cool!

"Keep Thy Religion To Thy Self"~George Carlin

Highway23
03-17-2002, 10:37 PM
Sandi, I think it's awesome that yer little snuggle bear and you are gettin really close. That really makes me smile. Cuz I remember a time when it just wasn't. It's funny, I love the kid, and I don't even know him. What you said about him cuddlin, and me, makes me smile, cuz that's EXACTLY how I am.

I don't know how you girls do it, and I applaude all yer hard work for sure. Yes, there there are guys out there doing the same thing, and I applaude them as well. But, this is a mans world, sad to say, but it's true. Sadly there aren't too many men who would be willing to trade places, cuz we see what it's like. You girls rock, all of you, especially the mothers who are doing all they can to be both a mother and a father, raising their kids the best they know how, and with the mentality that they need to be somebody. Bravo.

I've always thought to myself that I could be Mr.Mom. Not the breast feeding part, cuz my nipples ain't very big, but I think that I realy wouldn't mind it. I think that's a good quality to have. Because I don't like to be the 'typical' guy all the time, and some of you know I do have a serious side. {where? where!/images/laugh.gif)...I love kids to death, and I can't wait to be a father...I mean..I can..but I can't..you know what I mean ya turds...

Anyway, I'll drink another beer while you take another hit, we'll think about this, and talk about shit, dance in the meadows and spin in the rain, forget about our sorrows, and leave all the pain....



rock the fuck on, every one of ya...



And I have never read the Chronicles you talked about...hmph...

(º·.¸(¨*·.¸ ¸.·*¨)¸.·º)
«.·°·.*Dreamer*.·°·.»
(¸.·º(¸.·¨* *¨·.¸)º·.¸)

low_light
03-17-2002, 11:30 PM
"sandi, its not the end...
oh theres so much more here.."

see
i told you
so...



"everything that youve ever done wrong, is the reason that im driven.. straight to tears" -cc

13throwcenter
03-17-2002, 11:55 PM
you know the perfect words, David.

then and now

"My mom likes chocolate and Pearl Jam."~ Asher, 2-9-2002

low_light
03-18-2002, 12:07 AM
;)

i have no perfect words. i just am glad i have these experiences with good people.

david


"everything that youve ever done wrong, is the reason that im driven.. straight to tears" -cc

13throwcenter
03-18-2002, 01:43 PM
if i *EVER* were to take the plunge into parenthood again, it would HAVE to be with a man who was 100% willing to be Mr. Mom. I love my kid tons, no doubt about it, but i've realized motherhood is not all it's cracked up to be (YES, girls, it is OKAY to say that without GUILT!!!) I did the stay at home thing, and it was great in many aspects but being (primarily) responsible for the running of the household gets kind of old and i have realized i need more of a challenge than that offers.

and it's not even THAT part about motherhood that is tough- it's the psychological stuff that goes along with it- the constant, neverending need to be conscientious of the environment that affects your child- that is the part that is the toughest requirement of the job. it's too bad so many parents don't even realize this, let alone take it as seriously as they should.



"My mom likes chocolate and Pearl Jam."~ Asher, 2-9-2002

Highway23
03-18-2002, 01:49 PM
I'll be a Mr.Mom /images/smile.gif

(º·.¸(¨*·.¸ ¸.·*¨)¸.·º)
«.·°·.*Dreamer*.·°·.»
(¸.·º(¸.·¨* *¨·.¸)º·.¸)