be a girly girl...

[bluecow]

i've been told by several sources lately that i need to be more girly. all of my friends are guys, my friends have ALWAYS been guys, and the problem is that when i happen to deveolp a romantic interest in a guy he always seems to think of me more as "one of the guys" than a GIRL... so what exactly does it mean to be more "girly"? i will draw the line at makeup though- i will NEVER wear makeup.

[mtgirl]

girl, don't listen to thems. be however girly or ungirly you want to be. being a girly girl has it's issues too you know. i think the answer to your problem is more along the lines of letting a dude know how you feel, make him understand that you are indeed a girl, and tell him that's how you want to be treated. haha listen to me.

..and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

[bluecow]

that's my roommate's theory too "you wear a bra- that's girly enough"

[Highway23]

you'll find a guy who loves to have you as one of the boys, and is willing to be one of the girls, and he doesn't care how girly you are. Don't worry. Being one of the guys is prolly the coolest thing that I girlfriend could be actually. :)

"But if I call you out of habit I'm out of love and I gotta have it" -A.Rose

[panther-girl]

I think you just need to be yourself...
that's difficult enough for most of us :)

[bluecow]

boulie, why aren't there more guys like you in the world?

[Highway23]

I don't know, I also don't know why it's so hard to be a guy like me..

maybe that's why there aren't too many...hmph../images/crazy.gif

"But if I call you out of habit I'm out of love and I gotta have it" -A.Rose

[rockrighter]

I used to be told the exact same thing, usually around the end of elementary school and the beginning of junior high. My common response was FUCK OFF. Or something like that.

Everytime someone says that to you, say something similar about them. They'll say "You need to act, you know, more like a girl". You say, "You need to *fill in the blanks with some trait of theirs that bugs the fuck out of or at least annoys you*". It gets the point across that they shouldn't impose their socially nurtured ideals on you, and that they shouldn't dish it out if they can't take it. Match a criticism with a criticism. Hold up a mirror to their face if they try to pass judgement on you.

On a personal level, I would take such comments as "Don't be yourself." That's why I reacted the way I did. I have never worn make-up unless it's fake blood and such. All Power to the Makeup-less Sisters Worldwide.

See the violence inherent in the system? Help, help! I'm being repressed!

[chewmauro]

In case my opinion helps...
I have NEVER been interested in any girl who is a 'girly' girl. I just think that girls like you who are cool enough for me to treat like one of my buddies make the perfect love interests. Sure most girls are 'girly' but those who aren't are really cool. In the end you get what you deserve I'd like to think. If you are a cool girl and true to your self then I see no problem. like rockrighter said: "FUCK OFF" to those who try and change you. Anyone who is trying to change you is basicly saying that they don't really like YOU.

"How is life treating you? Better yet, How are you treating life?" -Eddie

[rise above]

you need to be yourself...don't listen to them.

[_om_]

make up costs too much money.
like cigarettes. Why start.


om1

[RogueTrader]

You're the type of girl
who hangs out with the guys
like a fly on the wall
with the secret eyes....

If i were you, I'd how those guys just how much more of a man than them you can really be.

I guess we men are attracted to women (generally speaking of course).


M

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Howard Roark laughed......

[rockrighter]

Exactly.

See the violence inherent in the system? Help, help! I'm being repressed!

[bluecow]

that's what i was thinking... but the people who told me this- one was my best friend of 19 years and the other was an ex-boyfriend so they're people who's opinions actually matter to me. and my mother, she tells me all the time i need to be more of a girl.

well, fuck 'em.

[rockrighter]

My friends were the ones who said the same things to me. They stopped 'cause I got this evil glare in my eye. I have been known to freak people out. Also, I was younger when this was going on, like 12-14.

I get mistaken for male every now and then. Not only by middle school kids who would taunt me on my way home from school last year, but also by Elections BC officials. :oP And I have hair down to my ass.

Personally, unless it's constructive criticism about something that's not mired in the shallow universe of stereotypical gender roles, I will listen to my friends and family's comments and digest them. Sometimes I will adapt to it, other times it goes out the crapper. If they really respect you, they'll hold their tongue. They might think they're "helping you" by berating you. You have to show them somehow that it's the opposite. Get pissed off at them. Openly. Sometimes a verbal bitch-slapping is in order. Limit the amount of time you spend with them for awhile, and when they ask why you've been distant, ask them they wanted to spend time with someone who's not 'girly' enough for them in the first place. Guilt trips, hurrah! Put them on the defensive. . . they've done it to you for long enough.

Obviously I can only pass on my own methods of dealing with shit. . . think about what you do in such situations and roll with it. Just stay strong and get angry if you have to. Remember that BITCH stands for Being In Total Control of Herself.


See the violence inherent in the system? Help, help! I'm being repressed!

[MonkeyBrains]

by a number of sources that I'm not a real girl.. what ever the fuck that means.. I think had something to do with the fact that I didn't like Free Willy (maybe you need to watch more Free Willy)..
I honestly can't think why you'd wanna be more girly.. That involves skirts & dresses and make up, and being afraid of mice & spiders, liking pastel colours and listening to shitty pop music and screaming when your fav boy band even gets a 2 second mention on some mindless TV show.. My group of friends has a few grily girls in it and frankly they're freaking airheads.. Their conversation topics are limited to the latest fashions, hair styles and make up, what hot new thing they've seen on television and how disgusting my behaviour is.. 'Can you belive Jess, my god I'd never do that, she's so immoral!!'.. 'I know, I'd never behave like her'..
I think you'd find that if you did become more girly, that the realtionship you had with your great guy friends would change.. You wouldn't be you anymore and that's what these guys like about you.. Just do what makes you happy, if you're happy doing your thing the way it is now fuck anyone elses opinion..

Give me being one of the boys anyday..


I'm danger, I Roar, I swear I'm not a Whore!!

[_om_]

I dunno. my best friend is pretty girly. She paints her nails blood red before her rugby games.


om1

[13throwcenter]

someone who is truly your best friend would not tell you should be something you are not.... and we all know how much the opinion of your ex-boyfriend is worth... and any mother who tells her child to be more something he/she isn't is not loving her child unconditionally.... not that your mother doesn't love you... but she's sending you a message that you'd be better (and perhaps she would be more comfortable) if you were something else... that sucks.

I've always been a weird mix of a girly tom-boy.... never a full girly girl, and never a full on tom boy either.... my toenails have been painted every day since i was twelve years old and I just finished painting my nails (they're PEARL colored... JAM on the toes...)... I've gone through phases where I've been more girly and phases where I've been more... not girly. Some days I wake up and say, "I'm gonna be the sexy secretary today" and I wear a short skirt, hose and heels and the next day I say, "Today I feel like being totally casual" and I wear my denim overalls and sneakers. It's all me and I am completely comfortable with all of it. Most of the men I know MUCH prefer a babe who is down to earth as opposed to "girly"... while they might find it attractive on some external level, I don't think most guys can relate to the whole girly-girl thing.


I think you are just right the way you are, Carrie. Your natural "womanlyness" (that can't possibly be a word, can it?) will continue to develop and it will set you apart from the world of plastic girly girls and the guys who are worth it will appreciate it.

"Be who you are and say what you feel... for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

[RogueTrader]

You are girly in all the right places and ways....

M

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Howard Roark laughed......

[TmasH]

People say the same thing to me, they think Im not girly enough either.

But yeah, tell 'em to fuck off and do what you wanna do.

I've seen a million faces, and I've ROCKED them all" - Bon Jovi