Ladies! How comfortable are you...

[babarocks]

Bluecow's post about her 1 night stand made me wonder something... how many women here are comfortable bringing up birth control with new lovers? How many are comfortable asking about STD history before the first sex? I think it's incredibly hard for some of us to do, but incredibly important. Who here has found a good way to bring up this touchy subject? Who here has tried but either lost their confidence to bring it up or had the guy just say "No I'm not wearing a condom"?

The people must have something good to read
On a Sunday

[jamijams]

a *great* amount of experience with this, considering for six years I was in a committed relationship, but since then, the one person I have slept with, I had get an actual AIDS test, and send me the results before he got near me. kind of a unique situation because they don't live in the same town I do, so it wasn't just like a one night hook up. but, I would say I am VERY comfortable with asking BEFORE sex, and basically, I live by 'no condom, no sex'. end of story. I value my body, my health, my ability to reproduce, very, very highly. even in said relationship, we RARELY had sex without a condom, and we WERE committed, and both clean. I didn't, and don't want to ever have to think about an unwanted pregnacy. but, I'd have to say that I think i'm far from the norm. but being fairly outspoken is part of who I am as a whole, it kind of carries over /images/crazy.gif

Tell me,and I will forget. Show me,and I will remember. Involve me,and I will understand.~Confucius

[poopypants]

i must say that condoms, while they save lives and prevent STDs, are painfully keeping my weiner from it's full rockness. Man, getting hard once you put that badboy on there is about as easy as getting hard fantasising about big hunky men, no thanks. I mean, i almost wished i liked using condoms, but me, i need that raw dog wetness with some power thrusts, rather than feeling like i'm rubbing my dick inside of a KY filled ziploc bag. And don't even get me statred on the smell of those things, yuck. I don't know what's worse, the smell of condoms on your hands all day or the stench of a rotten beaver. Land Ho!

Stinky Fingers

[babarocks]

So what do you do Poopy? What do you do when she brings up "You gonna wear a condom?" And what do you do to protect yourself from anything she might have? Do you take the risk or deal with the smell and lack of rockhardness?

By the way, have you ever tried masturbating with a condom on, to see if you can train yourself to get used to it? Just an idea....

The people must have something good to read
On a Sunday

[MsBuannan]

well, I for one don't do one night stands..but, I also have a unique condition...I'm allergic to the crap that most condoms are made of so I have to be careful about the condoms that are being used...having a rash down there sucks, let me tell ya...I carry my own condoms all the time...why the hell should it be up to the guy to do that anyway? and, I insist that my lover wear one...period...if he won't, well, then we don't have intercourse, do we? as for STDs....I offer that I am STD free and free of AIDS and see what his response is...like I said, I don't do one nighters so I already know the guy and am comfortable with him...but I have to admit...I think it's harder for my age group (30 somethings) than for the younger ages to ask such things...see, we were part of the totally hedonistic 80s when we first started experimenting...so things like AIDS and STDs weren't thought about...the twenty something crowd has one up on us because they were raised with these fears...they are just a fact of life for them so I think it's a bit easier to bring it up...I almost died the first time a guy I was flirting with asked if I'd been tested for AIDS lately...he was like 22 or something...my first thought was that he must think I'm some sort of slut or something...then I realized he was just being smart and respected him for that

[poopypants]

hhmmmmm....masturbating with a condom on, never tried THAT before. dude i think you're on to something, except i don't want to buy them and just beat off with them.

About the no condom no sex things ladies, my word is all you need. I am a goddam maniac in the sack, i fuck medevial style, long hard and dirty! If the ladies want to hold out, i can accept that only if they like to give a little 'fellacio' shall we say. Should guys check out your trim before they start monging? Talk about diseases! Those vaginas are a breeding ground for just about anything with a tail. I still love em though, mmmmmm.

Big Head Poop and the Monsters

[babarocks]

You crack me up Poopy!

>About the no condom no sex things ladies, my word is all you need.

Sorry Poopy, YOU know your word is good, but how do WE know it's good? THat's the whole problem with that "trust me" stuff, too many people LIE LIE LIE and you're an idiot, man or woman, if you just believe that in the early stages of a relationship. Once you get to know each other, if the trust is totally there, then your "word" is good enough. But not the first time you look good to me through beer goggles and we're heading up to your room... medieval stylee or not!

>I am a goddam maniac in the sack, i fuck medevial style, long hard and dirty!

More power to ya, lucky ladies!

>If the ladies want to hold out, i can accept that only if they like to give a little 'fellacio' shall we say.

Interesting, what do you mean by "I can only accept that if..."? Like, what if she says no to fellatio without a condom too? Are you gonna make her or do you just mean you're out of there?

>Should guys check out your trim before they start monging?

Well yeah, that's the point. To start going down without ever talking about what is down there is foolish. But vaginas are lovely, so don't diss them, glad you still love them!

>I still love em though, mmmmmm.

That's good, cuz penises are the only alternative and you've already said you're not into them.... ;)

As for not wanting to buy condoms just to jerk off, hey that's a small price to pay if it means you can train yourself to enjoy safe sex more. Try it. Good luck, and then you can get safely mideval on her ass... :)



The people must have something good to read
On a Sunday

[_om_]

I'm sure bringing up BC in a convo is more comfortable that pushing a baby out of your vagina.


om1

[Phil]

Condoms, while a necessary evil, are a pain right square in the ass.

No pun intended.

"Me and Carson are going to Durst's house for some brews later." -FAKE Ed TRL quote, 5-98

[13throwcenter]

I have no problem talking about *anything* /images/laugh.gif



Don't just live the length of your life, live the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman

[yer ardy]

i am embarrassed to say i have
absolutely NO experience in this
area whatsoever...(it's that 'freak of nature' thing...)
i've never had to ask..
i wouldn't know a condom if it walked up to me and said, "hi. i'm a condom."

but...
if i ~did~ find meself in that sitch..
the birth control issue isn't an issue..for i..have been spayed.../images/wink.gif
and...
i guess..i'd muster up some form of courage to ask about potential for STDs..
but..sayin and doin are 2 different things...


realistically, there wouldn't be a line-up o'guys at my door....



"..don't hate me because ~you're~ beautiful..."

[bluecow]

LOL... just picturing a condom walking up to me and talking...

[margaret ann]

How hard could it be to ask someone you're about to have *sex* with about using condoms or their STD status? Do people not talk about sex? Do they just do it and then pretend like it didn't happen? I'm completely inexperienced in this matter (and maybe I should be embarrassed about that, i.e., not admit it. But it's not like I can do anything about it now.), but I don't understand why someone would be hesitant to talk to a prospective partner about STDs and condom usage? (all of that is basically rhetorical)

[luv2rok]

What did one condom say to the other condom in front of a gay bar?Well,i suppose it's time to go in and get shit faced. /images/tongue.gif

http://www.vedderism.com/edpinkpop6.jpg

[SickForSykora]

I am a virgin, but I hope that this doesn't count me out of the discussion.

I will remain a virgin until I find a man that cares about me, and us as a whole. I cherish my virginity too much to give it to just anyone, or do it for the sake of just having it to experience it. Anyways, my senior health class was family planning/sex ed. One day we had a mini seminar on STD's and lemme tell you.....I WAS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED AT THE THINGS I SAW..And it prompted me to say out loud "No one will touch me until they get tested."

If the person loves you, they will have no problem getting tested. Its an issue of trust, I think.

I hereby give full credit of this username to Paige. We suffer from Sykoraitis

[baccusgrrl]

If a guy ever tells me he won't wear a condom then he better get ready for a night by himself.

You must BE the change you wish to see in the World
-Mahatma Gandhi

[babarocks]

Margaret Ann it's super cool you have this attitude. Sad truth is it's really hard for some people, it really sucks because a lot of women feel like they dont' have the right to ask or insist on a condom. Too many women do a lot of things because they sort of feel like they have no choice or they "owe" the guy for getting him all hot and bothered. By no means is that always waht happens, but it happens too much. Yes, people who are about to do the most intimate thing 2 people can do sometimes do not know how to talk about sex with each other. Crazy isn't it? But it's pretty common. And pretty dangerous.

The people must have something good to read
On a Sunday

[prism]

...how could you possibly forget that wonderful night that we spent together?...ya know, the one where we shared those lovely five-star accomadations...Uncle Ardy, if that wasn't you that the condoms and I shared a hotel room with *gasp* who was it???? /images/blush.gif

[monty]

hey baccusgrrl what if you're wearing magenta go-go boots? would he have to wear a condom then?

[13throwcenter]

LMAO!!!! oh man..... toooo funny.

oooops! SORRY ABOUT THAT!!

*picks up condom and runs*

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah thanks for the laugh!



Don't just live the length of your life, live the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman

[yer ardy]

...i was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to picking
that mofo up too...thought it was a wadded up
tissue...hehe...

oh god..the memories...beautiful /images/smile.gif

"..don't hate me because ~you're~ beautiful..."

[13throwcenter]

well at least it wasn't *gooey*... hehe :P

yeah, the memories..... good stuff : )

*BIG GRIN*

Don't just live the length of your life, live the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman

[mtgirl]

true dat boys

i luv hobbits.

[mtgirl]

hmm good q. well, lets just say i haven't been challenged much on my born again good girlness, but after what i lovingly refer to as my slut year, after having to get tested for stuff and finding that kate+alcohol+boy=loss of self control, i'm now really into the idea of just getting over it and talking to a dude about bc and std's before coitus. or before any fluid exchange in the case of std's. definately a lot easier to say than do, but hey what is life without challenges? so hopefully i will continue to not let anyone's dude go skinny dippin until i trust him and know he's as std free as testing can prove.

i luv hobbits.

[vinamara]

ummmm... seeing as how i'm a virgin and all, i'm quite uncomfortable even being close enough to a guy to discuss *sex* /images/blush.gif

but i would absolutely not sleep with a guy who wasn't wearing a condom. men lie. it's natural for them to do so. i don't hate them for it.

Oh, Bite Me. It's Fun!

[TmasH]

Let's not forget that there are some men like me who like to have their willy's dressed up for playing out in the rain inside...

so do you think it's the females or males responsibility to have the condoms? Personally, it shouldnt matter everyone should have em.

I've seen a million faces, and I've ROCKED them all" - Bon Jovi

[jamijams]

yay tom! /images/laugh.gif
i think it's the responsibility of *Both* parties to have condoms, but I think that women should get alot more used to the fact. i mean, if a guy simply doesn't have one, maybe if *she* does, issue resolved right there. if you say no condom no sex, he says I don't have one, the ta-DA, well I just happen to carry them. now what's your excuse. so i definitely think us girlies should carry em with us too!

Tell me,and I will forget. Show me,and I will remember. Involve me,and I will understand.~Confucius

[babarocks]

I agree totally!

I am remembering this one time, this guy who I'd only met twice before and who I thought was totally sexy. By the time we were even talking about staying at the same friend's house I think we both knew we were going to sleep together. We were kissing and getting all hot and bothered and were about to have sex when I asked him "Soo, we should have the safe sex talk... do you have anything I should know about?" And to be honest, when I asked I was pretty much assuming he didn't because, how could he be about to let anything happen if he did? And he sort of was silent for a second and I said "Is that a yes?" and he said "I do have herpes..." and I couldn't believe it. Seriously, he was going to be totally willing to let his unprotected willie come into contact with various parts of my body (although I wasn't going to have intercourse without a condom) WITHOUT TELLING ME HE HAD HERPES!!!

Now I know, if you're careful with herpes you have a good chance of not transmitting it to someone else. But you MUST tell your lover so they have the informationa nd can make their own decisions about which risks they're going to take and which they won't.

I learned from that experience that just because I would never do something does NOT mean others would even think twice. He was ready to roll, thank gosh I asked. Cuz he wasn't gonna bring it up OR wear protection.

The people must have something good to read
On a Sunday