Six years ago tonight

[13throwcenter]

...that little guy sleeping in bed behind me was preparing to make his entrance into the world....
at this time six years ago, i was barely dilated, just being admitted to the hospital in the early stages of labor
and naively saying to my mother "if this is as bad as it gets, i think i can handle it..."
... she just nodded her head and said..."uh huh"...
that of course was prior to the breakage of the "water"...
after which, i could be heard growling profanities at every turn /images/shocked.gif
It's a night I'll never forget (and if i somehow do, i have a video to remind me)
the pain was blinding (that part isn't on the video)... beyond words, actually...
my fucking childbirth teacher actually had me deluded into believing I could "control" the pain with proper breathing technique.
HA! that's a crock of shit. Unfortunately my contractions happened so fucking fast I didn't stand a chance.
Girls, those of you who have not experienced childbirth....
I'm not here to scare the fuck out of you... not sure why I am even writing about this other than it just crossed my mind and I'm not ready to crawl in bed yet.... anyway.... there are some things that is kind remain unspoken about childbirth, and it really sucks because women go into it with expectations then feel terrible guilt if they don't experience it....
like for example: "it all becomes worth it as soon as you see their little face"..
or, "you forget the pain as soon as you hold him/her" if that happens, yer livin' in a romance novel....
it took me months to forget the pain i experienced. The problem is, women don't feel like they can verbalize this without being considered some kind of heathen, so they just keep it inside and feel like something is wrong with them, when what they are feeling is actually VERY NORMAL.
I have a friend who has admitted to me she felt very much the same... she wanted little to do with her daughter for the first 3 months of her life but felt she could not verbalize it to anyone because no one would understand. Giving birth is a major traumatic event for a woman's mind and body-
it bothers me that it is portrayed so romantically in the media.
For a lot of women, what they have seen on tv is what they expect in real life. *shudder*

ramble ramble ramble.

so after an epidural and 30 minutes of hard core pushing, this little pumpkin was delivered at 3:32 am on Thanksgiving Day, 1995. He was a little punk even upon arrival and wouldn't breathe on his own.... he wasn't blue or anything, he was actually quite pretty... he just didn't want to breathe so they gave him a "puff of oxygen" as the doc said, to which i responded by freaking out! WHY DOES MY BABY NEED OXYGEN? He was fine, just needed a little "jump start" as my dad said.... but this caused him to not be placed immediately upon my chest for immediate bonding- again, something I felt terribly guilty about for quite awhile. Again.... those expectations ... they fuck with your head.

So my first words when i was finally able to hold him and get a good look? "he has eyes just like mine!"

good stuff.

I tried to post a picture here but it wouldn't do it, so here's a link instead : )
http://communities.msn.com/DaysinthelifeofAsher/photoalbum1.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=56


sometimes i feel like i'm on the springer show with no stage exit. -my sister on "the family"

[prism]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHER!!! /images/smile.gif/images/laugh.gif

Happy Birthday to the coolest(not to mention smartest and cutest) 6 year old dude to roam the planet!!! /images/laugh.gif/images/smile.gif

[prism]

and about expectations when having a kid, oh man, you had just better throw them all of the window if you happen to have a preemie....both of my kids were premature, my daughter 5 weeks early and 31/2 lbs., my son was 9 weeks early and 3lbs. ....nothing can prepare you for the shock of a neonatal intensive care unit, jeez, so many tubes and i.v.s and monitors and alarms all atached to a teeny tiny little person, and somehow you are supposed to bond with this baby that you fear that you will break at the sleightest touch, then there's the whole going home and having to leave your baby at the hospital for a month and going to spend time with them everyday and having to ask the nurse if you can do so much as change their diaper....and then having to take your baby home on an apnea monitor cause the little shit would forget to breath(at least she's full of hot air now)
and I won't even scare all of you that don't have kids in telling you about having to give birth by caesarian....or about while I was opened up on the table and the dimwit Dr. couldn't get my uterus back in, unless of course YOU'RE SURE you don't ever wanna have kids

[ProfessorFrink]

I think he's ready to sign up for a minor hockey league now.


~Pee to the A~

[13throwcenter]

sometimes you are so predictable, frinky ; )

remember, this is the west coast of the USA... not much hockey happenin' round these parts.



sometimes i feel like i'm on the springer show with no stage exit. -my sister on "the family"

[ProfessorFrink]

http://www.sjha.com/
how close are you to Seattle?


~Pee to the A~

[13throwcenter]

not close enough.

sometimes i feel like i'm on the springer show with no stage exit. -my sister on "the family"

[sigh_eternally]

such a beautiful baby! I'm so happy for you!

[Om1]

I'm on my way out the door to get a tubal as I read this.
just kidding. he does have very lovely eyes like his mom.


Shweta

[13throwcenter]

awww thanks : )
I just wish I had his lashes.... at least the ones he *didn't* cut off.



sometimes i feel like i'm on the springer show with no stage exit. -my sister on "the family"

[Peace Frog]

wow
"The problem is, women don't feel like they can verbalize this without being considered some kind of heathen...."
Even being a guy, I always knew that childbirth wasn't as easy as removing a splinter. "Oh, it's out! I feel so much better!" But of course, noone talked about the reality of it, for fear of being considered an evil woman and/or an unfit, unloving mother. I'm glad you told us what you felt and I don't think you are a heathen. I just wish you were online more so we could chat :D

Kindred to be an American!

[M_F_Cecil]

happy birthday, Asher...
hope that you and your Mom are doing well

-Cecil

...That what you fear the most could lead you half way...

[13throwcenter]

aw thanks, Cec... he had a good day- opened gifts, ate cake and played at the ocean for a few hours.... good stuff ; )



sometimes i feel like i'm on the springer show with no stage exit. -my sister on "the family"

[jamijams]

through the whole album. he's so beautiful....and *so* smart....a challenge no doubt, but isn't that part of the fun? teradactyl bar for lunch anyone? /images/wink.gif

not all things that are faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced~j.baldwin

[13throwcenter]

awwwww thanks, Jams... that's a collection of my favorite photos of the boy : )

ps: that's spelled Pteradactyl ; )

sometimes i feel like i'm on the springer show with no stage exit. -my sister on "the family"

[Phil]

from another little punk/images/laugh.gif

"I'm not obsessed with Pearl Jam, I just think I'm much Vedder." -fake Scott Stapp quote 3/01

[corduroykate]

he's adorable /images/smile.gif
we call my little sister Bean too /images/laugh.gif

[Highway23]

Asher my man!! Happy Birthday :)



"Actually Russell, I believe I requested the hand-job." -Wayne

[mtgirl]

thanks for the post sandi. i've been thinking about that whole thing lately too. about how if someone breaks a leg or has to have heart surgery or something, people recognize that they experienced a lot of pain, but birth, hell no. my mom always says it's worth it, which i'd imagine is true, but that doesn't mean that there's some crazy shit that goes down. another thing that i wonder about is, and i'll preface this by saying that i can deal with gyno exams and it's not that big of a deal, but it's not fun either, oh yah, my original sentence, i would think it would be a little disturbing to have all these people staring at your whoo whoo all the time and then watching a child emerge... i also have a thing about exposing my inner thighs *shudder*. anyway then the baby is sucking on your nipple! yah yah motherly instincts and what not but it's gotta be a little wierd to have a baby's lips wrapped around your erroginous zone. anyway, i'm glad you and other moms seem to be talking about this stuff more cause it's just going to make things easier for moms in the future. and also, on tv the other day this chic was talking about how the hospital is only trying to make money so they give you drugs which make labor last longer and do procedures only to make more money and well, that shit is fucked up! what's next? are they going to expose people to carcinogens so they can make money when people get cancer? ugh the world can be nasty. yep.

..the music here has helped you work thru a few things (or dance and sing on top of them) - ed

[mtgirl]

oh shit! is jami mispelling again ;)
ps. luv ya babe!

..the music here has helped you work thru a few things (or dance and sing on top of them) - ed

[mtgirl]

major huge *shudder*. man that's another thing that freaks me out. it's hard enuf to wrap your mind around giving birth in a very normal successful way. what you went thru must have been outrageous pris, but then there are things like having a disabled or ill child. i'm sure that's another deal where the general response is that mothers love their children no matter what, so it's not that big of a deal. not only would that mean so much more hard work, but let's face it, you would have to have feelings of inadequicy from time to time. and when you conceive, planned or not, you just don't know what all could happen. yep, it's gonna take some seriously strong motherly hormones to get me to attempt conception.

..the music here has helped you work thru a few things (or dance and sing on top of them) - ed