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poetrywriter
12-09-2000, 07:44 AM
patrol

You can adjust a clock to his arrival:
10:30 AM, give or take a minute or two.
Bob is always an unbalanced sight
passing through the entrance of the cemetery:
a long wooden pole in one hand, a plastic grocery bag
in the other, and mirrored aviator sunglasses
that dominate his face.
"The key to a successful retirement is comfort," he says,
motioning to brushed-twill pants and chalk-white tennis sneakers.
The wooden perimeter that surrounds the monuments
is roughly an eigth of a mile in length:
this is the focus of Bob's patrol.
He has no friends or family here,
only the memory of past acquaintences with matching names.
"I knew a Vincenzo," he declares,
as if discovering a twenty in a pair of old slacks.

"Some people are either lazy, or they don't have any respect,"
Bob surmises, as he brings the working end of the pole to eye level
and gives the nail at the end a quick tug, making sure its secure.
He then lowers the pole like a member of an honor guard,
and directs it toward a crumpled heap of newsprint.
Once pierced, he flips the mouth of the bag open and stuffs it in.
Bob moves along like a whisper, collecting aluminum cans,
wrappers, and other concerns.
A second bag juts out from his back pocket just in case.
Once around, he drops the bag in a small dumpster
at the cemetery entrance and walks home, tapping the cane
against the pavement like a sherpa.

When I was young my mother would gently walk into my room
while I slept. Her fingers would part the hair away from my
face and pull the blankets up over my shoulders, before retiring
to her own room.


~I posted this on the synergy bbs the other day..and it fell like
a rock. So I figured I would post it where it would hang around
for a while. :) I know Immortal knows the sting of having something
that you put some effort into disappear from the synergy board like
it was deleted or something. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. I'm no
Walt Whitman, but I think this one has some merit. Hope everyone is
well.

anescence
12-09-2000, 05:45 PM
It is a shame, that poetry posts go unappreciated over there. I tend to look for them. This one...I really like it /images/smile.gif

Johnny Carwash
12-09-2000, 06:59 PM
that was great/images/smile.gif
thanks
/images/smile.gif

http://joe2016.homestead.com/files/a_.gif

EdHead
12-09-2000, 08:43 PM
good visuals there...I could picture everything:) nice work!

I think we all know the pull of gravity on posts at Synergy. Many times it just depends on who happens to be around when your post goes up. So don't let that discourage you...there's so much traffic there sometimes, even the most meaningful posts often get overlooked!

layla
12-09-2000, 09:19 PM
over here...
:)
no falling like rocks.
thanks you.


"I want to live, I want to give." ~Neil Young

EVolutionbaby
12-11-2000, 08:38 AM
/images/cool.gif AWESOME poetrywriter, keep up the good work /images/cool.gif

" & sing LOUD cuz your still ALIVE
just sing LOUD..alright"

RrVwMirror
12-11-2000, 09:24 AM
I am speechless.....that was, well, you know....brilliant!
Thank You!

(PS...I never even saw this at synergy!)

Immortal
12-11-2000, 01:11 PM
very well done, poetrywriter..
i've noticed we have really different writing styles, you and i.. i enjoy yours more than mine..it's more free flowing, not as ... boring... as my own.

and yeah, it definitely sucks to have a poetry post fall like a rock.. that's why i stopped posting there. every once in a while i send a PM to hedonist with a poem inside, only because she hasn't come over here yet (that i've seen, anyway)... but that's a bit off the topic.
anyway..i enjoyed the poem.. hope to see more like it.. (well, not too much like it.. then you'd suffer from my problem,.. everything being the same)..
but as for you being "no walt whitman"... i'm kinda glad you're not.. i never was a big fan of his.....

brokenarrow
12-12-2000, 06:49 AM
I finally have a bit of free time where I can actually sit down and read your words, and Immortals and Ger's...
I always like to take my time to digest what's written...

I really love this poetrywriter.....I found it made me sad though....
Sometimes, I'll wonder what our lives will be as we hit that age.....will I be retired and content doing what this fellow is doing? If I'm content, it won't even matter I guess.....
hmmmmm.....
I also loved the ending.....I always do just that to my two little ones before I go to bed at night...I always cradle their heads, very lightly so I don't awaken them, and then give them each a light little kiss on their heads.....
someday, they'll be grown up and out of the house, and I'll have that wonderful memory every evening to make me feel full....

beautiful Poetrywriter..
love, broken>

_om_
12-15-2000, 08:34 AM
I've missed you, poetrywriter.

"He then lowers the pole like a member of an honor guard,
and directs it toward a crumpled heap of newsprint."

I like that line the best. The comparison to an honor guard, it's unexpected and really mind-bending. I like that a lot.

om