ok, swallow hard, give it yer best shot...

[yer ardy]

let's hear your best puke story...

7th grade sleepover - bottle of MD2020 going around...3 girls did a simultaneous spew all over the one girl's bedroom carpeting...lime green bedroom carpeting...now decorated with dark purple swirls...they slept in it.

bowling 1985 - this dude was about to roll...he stops...stands there...
and ta-da! ...all the way to the gutter...

me, age 9, big bag of cheez curls, bigger glass of milk - you get the picture..

and to keep this PJ related:
10/7/00 - auburn hills show - walking about 3 feet off the ground as we exited the arena on the high from the show we just saw...we were brought back to earth when we witnessed this dude, being carried by his two other dude friends, well, dragged is more like it...over to the nearest trash can...so he can make a 'deposit'...he needed new trousers due to his obvious problem at that end as well..

can't imagine why anyone would get that fucked up at a pearl jam show!!??

anyways, enjoy your meal.. /images/smile.gif




~~~~~
"..all i want is to drink, maybe with just one other person..."

[panther-girl]

years ago...barfing out an open car door as my soon to be husband held me by my belt loops and drove me home...

before that...drinking so much my first semester at college that I threw up numerous times on my best friends bedding and she was washing it out for days...
she and others also protected me from a scary guy that was almost having his way with me... UGH!!! .... thank goodness for good friends....

[jamijams]

uh oh.......well, I was *going* to relay the worst weekend and puking of my life until you said *that*..........

DOH


not all things that are faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced~j.baldwin

[Highway23]

Wow, I'm sure that you all can't wait for mine...well...as you might have guessed I have had quite a few that have been stamped into the minds of many of my friends...so...

3: A friday night, in a alcohol free Freshman dorm: We all decide to get some beer after dinner, we go back to the rooms, and sit down to play a game named 3 Man ( a dice game, if you don't know what it is and would love to hear how to play it...let me know /images/wink.gif) WE sit down, and low and behold Boulie is the 3 man. Fuckin great. So to make a story short, I drink 12 Blue's in about 25 minutes..crazy shit...and one of the guys pisses me off...I stand up (12-pack gone) and say "I'm fuckin out of here" go to my room...and puke my fucking guts out...puke, puke...dry heave, dry heave...dry heave...pass out...I wake up the next morning, and see that my face...from the middle of my neck up...is totally blood shot...I add more red dots on my face than ANNIE...really embarrasing...really...

2: I didn't puke, but my buddy did. We got a tent, put it up on the hill, and drank a bottle of Black Velvet...when we went to lay down..he puked all over the tent...the blankets are still there to this day...


AND MY #1 PUKE STORY:

The infamous eating of the raw Partridge...yup. The guys go out hunting while little jake decided to polish the fucking liqour cabinet...by the time they get back, the 16 yr old bone head is so fucking wasted that he can barely stand. When the guys feather the birds and start to cut them up, I decided that I would have some seeing that I had never had partridge before...but they weren't cooked..still bloody, and going down my throat...

about an hour later...(mind you I don't remember any of this...it has been told to me...and to others many times) I go outside to be a shield for guys in a snowball war...and when we go in...I puke so much that I pass out with a flowing line of puke just coming out of my mouth...and we have pictures to prove it...

Yummy /images/wink.gif

[Highway23]

oh, and to see some fucking funny pictures (and gross)

http://www.drunkhumor.com My pic isn't there though

[jamijams]

you *know* I love you man, but after reading all of today's posts, I must say, I'm afraid, VERY afraid actually. oh scary larry.../images/crazy.gif

not all things that are faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced~j.baldwin

[Highway23]

i'm feeling gross today I guess...sorry babe hehehe

[ProfessorFrink]

I was 7 years old and lying on the couch in our family room. I projectile vomitted 10 feet across the room and onto the TV.

[Highway23]

HAHAHAHHAA!!!!!

AWESOME!!! Power puking is something that I have never done.. :)

[panther-girl]

my son was the Prince of Projectile vomiting as a baby...
I had to warn people who wanted to 'hold the baby'....
there weren't many places we visited that we did not mark with some pukage.
ahhhhhhhh...the joys of parenting.......

[NoCrime2Escape]

I was partying with some good friends about 8 years ago..when we decided to spend our last $30 bucks on McDonalds Cheeseburgers, a bag of pot, and as many Crazy Horse 40oz's as we could buy.

We watched Ren and Stimpey and Beavis and Butthead...played Sega...and munched on the cheeseburgers...washing them down with the Crazy Horse..and smoking bowls of humbolt weed inbetween.

It was my first experience smoking weed and drinking at the same time... pretty soon I was spinning every which way possible.

The last thing I remembered before passing out was running into my friend's bathroom... bazooka barfing my guts out...and then looking up to see my friend Alan standing over me... laughing..."Look... ", he said drunkenly,"..pickles!"

A whole pickle from a McDonalds cheeseburger was sitting on the rim of his toilet.

Then I passed out.


http://animatedgif.net/flags/flagsusa/usa_gl_e0.gif

[Highway23]

very nice :) pickles are great!

[bluecow]

my story isn't quite as EXCITING as jake's...

i was at this frat party (grr...) and i was playing beer pong with this guy (after having 2 fuzzy navels that were about 3/4 peach schnapps and 1/4 OJ, a rum and coke, with more rum than coke, and a lot of beer [i suck at beer pong]) and it was really hot so i said i wanted to go sit outside so we went outside, and i was sitting there on this stoop, and he was giving me a back rub and all that, we were just talking and stuff, then BLAH, i puked in the bushes... kinda ruined the mood, which now that i've seen this guy when i was SOBER was probably a good thing... but then, the really gross part, he kissed me AFTER i puked... he sat there watching me puke then kissed me, eww. then my friend who i went to the party with decided to hook up with some dude so i got to walk home by myself.

and then one time last year i was in a hospital room cuz i had a kidney infection, and i was in the bathroom peeing, then i felt like i was gonna puke, so i was like, "oh shit" so i attempted to turn around so as to puke in the toilet but ended up making it even worse, all over the bathroom floor.

then when i had food poisoning, i woke up every hour on the hour, 3am, 4am, 5am... all the way to 8am and puked in the trash can next to my bed... my mom came in to wake me up and was like, "eww, why does it smell so bad in here?" it was just funny how it was like, perfectly on time, exactly every hour.

[Highway23]

damn was that guy retarded!! holy shit that's sick!!! damn...

i've had a kidney infection before too...only i didn't get it checked until my body killed it off...along with a liver virus...my doctor was not happy..

that is weird about the hourly puking...it was a powerhour

[yer ardy]

i can't EVEN imagine YOU getting like *that...

disclaimer: the following is not for the squeamish..
*that=puke all down the front of you with more coming...
*that=hershey squirts saturating the backside of yer jeans...

~~~~~
"..all i want is to drink, maybe with just one other person..."

[jamijams]

lemme do a little work and I'll tell you why July 18th 1998 was the worst pearl jam / alcohol / lsd experience of my life. actually, let me break it down for you this way:

1st you stand in line for six hours for tickets because you let your 10 club memebership lapse
then you wait anxiously for the day to arrive, with friends flown in from out of town and all
*then* you go into a bar where you run into a friend you haven't seen in ages, who just happens to be handing out large pieces of a sheet of lsd
after *that* you start drinking very strong screwdrivers (4) and one hard cider
next you make it into the Rose Garden, find your seat, make it through the opening band, make it through a mere two songs
at which point you.............vomit into your friend (who flew here to see you and PJ) 's shirt, and proceed to be taken outside (dragged?) by said friend and boyfriend. then you continue to vomit for about half and hour while waiting for some sorry schmuck to come pick you up. you assure Rose Garden paramedics you are in fact "ok" and do not need their help. then, you get picked up and taken to a friends house. go inside? nah, the lawn looks nice, I'll lay here with my face on the cold grass and dry heave for an hour.....and then once the alcohol is out of my gut, realize that you are FRYING BALLS. commence sobbing and begging to be returned the show. denied. continue vomitting and being unable to eat for three whole days.
regret it..........for the rest of your life. /images/crazy.gif /images/frown.gif /images/crazy.gif

not all things that are faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced~j.baldwin

[margaret ann]

i can't recall the last time i tossed my cookies...i think was during a trip to Mexico when i was in the 7th grade...but here goes a puking story involving an seventh grade boy, the smell of tuna sandwiches, and my dolly blanket my ma'am maw (grandmother) made for me...

we were on a trip with our youth group choir...i think i was in ninth grade and Eric was in seventh...anyway...we had sang at a church somewhere and they had sandwiches and snacks for us after the church service...we ate...Eric was a big boy...he ate his share and more...i think some of the kids were playing basketball before we got on the bus to leave...we were on the bus for a while traveling to our next destination...

Eric begins to feel sick...he moves up to the front of the bus to sit next to the choir director...i give him my blanket...my dolly blanket that my ma'am maw made for me when i was a little kid...that i took on every trip we took...Matthew, Eric's best friend, was sitting next to him...i was in the back of the bus...

then we heard it...that unmistakable sound of vomit being hurled into the air...then the stench wafted back toward us...it smelled just like tuna...he swore he didn't eat a single tuna fish sandwich...all i could think about was my blanket...not Eric or how he was feeling, but my precious blanket, which was now covered in tuna fragranced vomit as was poor little matt...everything was okay...my blanket got washed...it's in a closet now and every time i see it...i think about Eric and the night he vomited on my blanket...

not as exciting as some of the other stories...but there you go

~
"Suck me!" ~ Stone Gossard during Mankind ; Toronto, Canada - October 5, 2000

[Highway23]

oh my lord jami...what were you thinking!!! holy shit balls..

boulie don't trip
& boulie doesn't drink before shows...

/images/wink.gif

sorry you missed the show girl /images/frown.gif

[jamijams]

seriously my friend, I beat myself up over that one for a *long* time. and I cried about it about a thousand times. needless to say, jami doesn't trip (I had a very short expiremental period) on acid anymore (but I am open to some nice fungi) and jami does NOT drink very much AT all and RARELY ever vodka. I have never been so sick in my life. blech

not all things that are faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced~j.baldwin

[chewdawg]

my story pales in comparison to y'all

the details r a little fuzzy.....

after downing 3 or 4 or 5 of moemoe's killer beams in 30 mins, it all came up on her front yard. btw, my vomiting was induced by rival spinning my drunk ass around and i thanked him by puking on his shoes :P

[prism]

oh man, can I ever remember when the only scent that I wore was "Essesence of Baby Barf"....my daughter was tiny but, could she ever spew across the room....her best shot was when she puked on my brother's $300 Gucci shoes from 4 feet away....and she shot shit all over her dad while there was a film crew in our living room, she got him good all the way up his right arm, onto his shoulder and up to the side of his face.....simply priceless

[Peace Frog]

Does everyones barfing involve alcohol? Mine might not be much but I made about 30 people watch me :)

It was 5 grade, Mrs. Johnsons class. I was sick for whatever reason. I was sitting in my seat, starting up the hurl-machine. The bathroom was just beside our room but noooo, I was afraid I'd puke allover the floor or something stupid like that so I just went to the front of the class and puked in the trash can in front of about 30 kids. If I have to go through it [/b]everybody[/b] has to go through it with me.

That is my best puke story because it is prety much my only puke story lol

Kindred to be an American!

[prism]

I have many puke stories but, prolly the best one was when I was 17 I drank Jack Daniels (for the 1st and last time)

anyway a bunch of us suburban waste cases were hanging out underneath of this bridge and we got extremly stoned...then suddenly this guy showed up with a half gallon of Jack...well stupid ol' me just started swiging away and , after not very long I passed out only to then start hurling all over the place, I managed to get alot of puke on the front of my sweater....anywho I was laying there on the steep creek bank passed out and covered in puke when someone yelled "COPS"...that was enough to wake me up so, I stood up and started to get the hell outta there but the cop did catch me and 2 of the guys that were there....then mr. police officer makes us go across the street past his patrol car so that he can talk to us under the street light....he talks to me 1st and he asked for my I.D. and I did manage to hand it to him and after seeing all the puke on me he tells me that I can go (he wasn't about to bust someone covered in puke, I'm sure that smell is hard to get out of a patrol car)..... he proceeds to talk to my 2 friends as I am starting off on my journey home, so I was just walking away when WHAM I walked directly into the rear panel of his patrol car and fell VERY hard back on my ass. and The Cop didn't even see it, he was facing the other way but my friends saw it and were laughing hysterically....I did manage to get up and walk the rest of the way home....the next day I had huge bruises across the tops of my thighs right where I slammed into the patrol car

[Beta]

i saw mushrooms last time i puked/images/crazy.gif

Beta http://betapearljam.homestead.com/files/dancer.gif

[RogueTrader]

My forst year of university, iwas living in a residential college (Like a cross between a frat and a dorm. This is a co-ed place).

Every year we would have a big formal dinner where the college would buy the students wine to drik. You could have as much as you liked. Remember, in Australia, the legal drinking age is 18. Obviously, everyone got really really blitzed.

Later, there was dancing for those who could stand. The president of the college student club was lurching from left t right on the dance floor, his date in a condition not too much better.

So, he's kissing her during a slow song, and all of a sudden he just hurls....about 2 litres of haggis (the college was started by Scotish immigrants to Brisbane), cheap wine and vegetables go into the date's mouth and all over her face and the dress she was wearing.

She gets rushed up to his room to get cleaned up. He follows to appologise. He's a third year, so he has a shower in his room. Next thing you know, they are both naked in the shower having sex while washing the vomit off.

classy, huh?

I don't really get nauseous when I drink. I guess because when I do go out drinking hard, I am usually taking other drugs at the same time which means I will head out the door with a gram or two in my pocket, which if applied properly can sort of nullify the bleary minded swimming feeling of being really drunk and of course, there is alway the 3 am E to really get the week end rolling so I drink 12 beers and snort a couple out of the bullet and then dropping at the end of the evening to extend your evening fun into the middle of the afternoonon Saturday where you are with you mates playing pool at the Buzz bar on Essex road in Islington while watching Arsenal get thumped by Man U on the big screen TV, then having a few more pints and....why not choke back another half and rack another line up on the back of the cistern in the mens room while you are at it and then go home to have a quick shower and change you clothes before heading off to the dance party, where you decide to have another half and a line to get you going and then do the other half and the remainder of the first gram before you leave the club at about 4 to go back to your mate's place with your girlfriend who is pretty fucked up too at this stage and you sit i the living room with him and about 20 other people and the drug dealer who seems to come around more and more frequently and who is wracking up complemenatries on the glass coffee table, the ones you can't say no to, and you eventually grab amanda and leave at about midday on sunday and tae her back to your place where you both have sex for what seems like an hour but neither of you can come and then you just decide that you need some valium to bring you down so that you can get some sleep to be ready for work on Monday morning, which you take at about 2pm and then both of you sleep through till 9 on monday which makes you both late for work and you feel pretty slow and you know that the real comedown will start on Tuesday so you are determoned that you will drink a bottle or so of wine that night just to take the edge off, so that when tuesday does it it's not so bad and thank god you have all those important meetings on wednesday so you should be pretty normal by then but wednesday night comes around and you have to go out and have a few drinks with your clients which sort of tuens into a 3am finish on Thursady after you have taken them to a strip joint coz that's what they really wanted to do and hey, they're the clients, right so you have to do what they want but it still means that you have a shocking head when you get into the office for the market openon Thursday morning and you know you aren't going to get through that night's drinking unless you have a little visit from pablo Escobar, so you call him up and arrange to meet him in the church yard at lunch time where you decide to 'stockpile' a bit and end up buying the old 6 for the cost of 5 deal, which should last you the rest of the weekend, so you fill the bullet and head out after work and it's another shocker but not as bafd as the night before cause you get home at 1am at least, pretty drunk and a little happy witht he way you managed to restraiun your self to just half a gram that evening which leaves even more for the weekend which begins on friday night when you step out the door wiuth 1 or two grams in your pocket......

classy, huh?

M

----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[RogueTrader]

You are a CLASS act!!!

M

----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[yer ardy]

i sure hope you check all your
pockets before you get your
clothes cleaned....

/images/wink.gif

~~~~~
"..all i want is to drink, maybe with just one other person..."

[Highway23]

rogue man...were you coked up when you wrote that? Yer paragraph was 2 sentences long! /images/laugh.gif holy shit man! hahahaha

that story about puking is fucking great!

[panther-girl]

mike ...
it sounds like you have things under control...
;)
that was quite an impressive rant you went off on there, sweetie.

[RogueTrader]

but I am at the moment.....

I did that whole thing deliberately. It's a style that Bret Easton Ellis uses which I think conveys the sometimes out of control and claustrophobic atmosphere that high calibre drug use can cause.

I was sorta proud of it myself.....

M

----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[RogueTrader]

I try my hardest.....

This 'Gardening Leave' thing has me all out of control...thank god my clenaing lady will be here tomorrow...someone has to clean up this mess....I wish these people would leave...

M

----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[RogueTrader]

That has actually happened to me twice.....USD120 down the drain (literally) on each occasion.

<

----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[jamijams]

Michael, come talk to me. email me at work

not all things that are faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced~j.baldwin

[Highway23]

Oh, I definately think that it helped convey how the time was...i enjoyed it... :)

[RogueTrader]

It's not all it's cracked up to be...this transcontinental jetset lfe of an assets swaps trader....drinking with models and captains of industry and staying in great hotels...flying forst class and eating in great restaurants in places like Paris, LOondon, New York Tokyo and Sydney....just really.....empty....

M










he he

----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[Highway23]

I was hoping I would either see a "hehe" or a "/images/smile.gif" or a /images/wink.gif after that...hahaha

[RogueTrader]

for that sort of thing these days, mate....28 and all washed up....maybe i'll retire and write my memoirs...I can tell that story about me and Naomi Campbel, Christy Turlington and Gisele Bundschen....

M










he he...



----------------------------------------------
Howard Roark laughed......

[Highway23]

oh man...I would tire myself out with that thing..

oh shit...got class! later

[share]

glad i'm reading this over breakfast

mrs' forsythe's class - grade 2 - she brought
back a cocoanut from somwhere (?) for us all
to have a little sip of the milk in a dixie cup

well - wasn't it rancid - we all started puking,
and the sounds of us puking made other people puke
(open concept school - cool shit!) - it was
like that scene from stand by me

bad bad teacher - lol

i remember a certain guy i know didn't fair too
well after many dips into a trash can filled with
purple jesus - i think he invoked barney that night

my favorite has to be my son puking after
eating spumoni (i warned him about the little chunks) - we were at frankie tomatoes restaurant -
i caught it in my hands and started laughing,
he started laughing too which made all the puke
come streaming out of his nose

i think we cleared our section

[Highway23]

Oh my dear lord those have to be the grossest stories of vomit! the whole class puked!? I would have been one of the first ones because I can't stand the sign, or sound, of people puking...err...you cought it in yer hands too...damn...that's gross...but a sign of a loving mother...OUT HIS NOSE TOO! BLAH!

[Highway23]

...coming out yer nose reminds me of a time that I puked...

I had just eaten Ramen noodles after taking shots of Goldshlager (no i can't spell it) and Aftershock all night...along with keg beer...mind you this party was in our Alcohol-Free dorms...anyway...i got all pissed off because I found out that my girlfriend went to the bar (overprotective...depends...)..so I decided to walk down to get her...drunk as fuck...my buddy and I start walking down when I go "I'm gonna puke dood" and walked right into a lady's garden and hurled all over the fucking thing...RAMEN NOODLES EVERYWHERE...so now I'm just leaning over and looking at this pile of worms...when my buddy goes "hey dood, you got some hanging out of yer mouth" (nearly puking himself) I wipe my mouth...and realize that a noodle about 5 inches long is just dangling from my nose...i pulled it out...and hurled again...

it was gross....right in a garden though..I thought that was funny...

[yer ardy]

ohmygaawd share..i'm crackin up here..
kids puking is *the* best... i love it when they make an effort to come to you to hurl, it's like they forget where the bathroom or wastecan is...it's always, "...mom?...i don't feel so good-BLURRRALPH...." i had a lovelee experience with kid-regurgitated cheez-its while stretched out in the recliner chair...we had to get rid of that chair.

i tell my kids now, "if you think yer gonna puke, just grab the wastecan or try to make it to the bathroom... i'll hear you...don't worry...just don't try to find me...trust me, i'll hear you..."

/images/laugh.gif

~~~~~
"..all i want is to drink, maybe with just one other person..."

[share]

oh shit jake - that made me laugh

hey - why pull it out - RECYCLE man RECYCLE

and ardy - kids are weird - they can puke
mid-bite and then continue eating

and that thing with my class - some of the kids got in shit because they tried to get more sour
milk so they could puke again - 'cuz puking's
FUN FUN FUN

[smile}!!!