he deserved better.

[oblio]

Sadly, he did not make it. He passed away early this morning at home.
He was a fighter right to the end and at one point I think he actually
just wanted to curl up in his favorite spot out back and die. He's a
Siberian and I think instinct took over because we had a snowstorm last
night and I guess he felt in his element.
I will be beating myself up about this for years to come because
he did not deserve to leave this earth this way and as his
owner it was my responsibility to look after him and I failed
him miserably.
he gave us unconditional love for 12 years and in return I neglected
him in his time of need.
Perhaps this is part of the healing process, to publicly admit my shame
and self contempt because I have tears rolling down my face here
at work while I am typing this.
I will never forget this brave soul and what he meant to Sharon,the kids
and myself. I just hope he is looking down at me from doggie heaven
and saying "it's o.k Neil,I still love you, you gave me a great home with
a loving family and I won't let a couple of weeks of bad decision making
override a lifetime of love and warmth"

RIP Scout - you will be missed and never,ever forgotten.

[Buannan]

I'm so sorry....please don't blame yourself...it is so hard to let go of those we love...so very hard...and you don't want to rush it....look at it this way, being a Siberian, he probably preferred to go his own way and in his own time...and I have NO doubt he is looking down at you with great love

Again, I'm so sorry Neil

[panthergirl]

i have tears for you guys too.
i understand how you feel but i also know in my heart that
he knows how much he was loved and loves you right back for
being his family for 12 years.
there is no need for blame or regret.

lots of love to all of you.
my heart and thoughts are with you.

[smellrose1]

please don't be so hard on yourself... dogs are all about unconditional love and always live in the now... no grudges, no regrets just love, food, walks, play and more love... you gave him an awesome life and that is what you need to remember... give yourself some time to heal, but try not to spend it racked with guilt, you don't deserve that!

peace


RIP Scout

[MonkeyBrains]

He was probably happier being able to spend his last monets at home with the family that loved him, than being stressed & confused in a vet clinic.. You guys gave him your best for 12 years..

[reallygroovN]

i agree with jess. and it was your love for him that helped make that decision to not end his life earlier. that is such a hard decision and one that i don't think i could make.

when summer was put to sleep (he was already at the vet but had a kind of doggie stoke before a biopsy), it was awful and heart wrenching, but i had this vision in my head, the second that he died, of him running and running, full on, and barking away in this beautiful field, happy to be free again.

love to you guys. its so very sad.

[RrVwMirror]

Neil, Sharon and family,
You were blessed to have such a faithful companion for the last 12 years, and it was your love and dedication to him that made him so happy. It should comfort you to know that he spent his last moments in the comfort of his home, with all of you, where so many happy memories live. Dogs are so keen, that I am sure he knew that you had come to terms with his illness and were ready to accept his passing. He chose to go that way, and in doing so, he spared you the painful experience of taking him to the vet. I am positive that he was at peace, and in return wants you to feel the same way.
Cry, hug, and remember the good times together, it will help you all get through this easier.

[moyboy]

Neil and Sharon, I am sorry for your loss. But I don't doubt for a moment that Scout would have much rather spent his last hours at home with you, as he did. I don't think that either of you have anything to feel guilty for... I believe that he would have chosen your home where he experienced so much love over such a long period of time instead of the strange and uncomfortable environment of a pet hospital. I still get sad when I remember my dog whom I grew up with passing away a few years back... he was my confidant and never wavering friend for so many things as I grew up. Even though it makes me sad that he is not here with me anymore, I also find myself smiling at the memories. And thats all from a short hairy dude who couldn't even talk! We all meet again eventually...

[Not_Trapped]

i'm sorry neil and sharon...

[csmooth24]

so sorry... :(

[Highway23]

aww guys...

:(

thinkin about you...so sorry

[rockrighter]

Jess is likely right. Scout might have even sensed something. Wouldn't surprise me at all.
I felt very similar feelings of guilt over my adopted bird, although I only had him for a year. I tried to care for him although I knew he was on his way out. But it was his time, just as it was Scout's time. I believe it was said that if the meaning of life was to understand and learn unconditional love, then that accounts for the relative short age of dogs compared to humans; they acquire the wisdom much faster than humans do.
Allow yourselves the grieving process and I hope you understand that nothing was your fault. Dogs are the great protectors of their humans, and within that role they cherish is the one where they are too stubborn to let on that they're slowing down until the effects are too great to hide - this goes back to instinct, not showing any weakness. It is a trait that unfortunately hurts them more than it helps nowadays, but remember, they don't understand the concept of vets and health care, and, it is one of the traits about our dogs that make us love them so much.
He no longer suffers. That he died on his own rather than by a euthanol injection makes no difference in that fact - he no longer suffers. It will be hard, as humans, to see the rationality behind that and I completely understand not even wanting to be rational about it when the emotions are like a cheese grater on a bundle of nerve endings.
Scout lived a wonderful life with your family. As a fellow living creature (and especially as another dog lover), I thank you for your love for him. Scout will always be with you.
Take good care of yourselves out there. We're all thinking of you and sharing in your loss.

[brokenarrow]

He was a fighter right to the end and at one point I think he actually
just wanted to curl up in his favorite spot out back and die. He's a
Siberian and I think instinct took over because we had a snowstorm last
night and I guess he felt in his element.

"it's o.k Neil,I still love you, you gave me a great home with
a loving family"

RIP Scout - you will be missed and never,ever forgotten.


He was home and with his family, that is so important Neil and Sharon. No scenario is easy when it comes to the end of our pets lives. Driving to the vet would have been just as difficult, if not harder, knowing what was about to happen to Scout.
I'm glad it snowed for the old guy, how wonderful for him to feel in his element. We should all be so lucky some day to be in our homes with the people we love when that time comes,

My love goes out to the two of you and to the elder gent, Scout.

[oblio]

Thank you all so very,very much.
Here we are, messageboard friends,relative strangers,
and yet you all take the time to pass along your words
of sympathy and wisdom.
I can honestly feel the love and compassion in each and
every one of you through your words and it's like Scout
was a loved one to all of you.
He truly was an amazing animal, a one of a kind dog.

You are all very special to us, very much like family and
to reach out to us like this at such a sad time in our lives
means more than you could ever know.

Again, thank you all so much.

Neil.

[yer ardy]

my dear neil & sharon...
as everyone else has said, please do not feel you have failed scout. he was a "sherman" - he lived his life on his terms...just like you two. he enjoyed each day and made no apologies. he sought out the fun and happiness in life that some of us never experience. he flew by the seat of his furry butt ;). by your example, he loved without prejudice and skepticism. dogs are the greatest example of how a life should be lived and they mirror the existence of the only life they've known, the one with you. the love and life you gave scout is enviable. he's romping and playing and singing Tool songs in heaven right now and bragging to all the other dogs about his family. and he's always going to be with you in your hearts forever because that's the beauty of unconditonal love.

as bad as you feel now, as sad as your heart is, remember to look out upon the world thru scout's eyes - he saw everything that made this world and the people in it beautiful and wonderful. everyday was a birthday, a holiday. everyday he woke up to the sounds of your voices, laughing sounds of your kids, the happy aura of your house, he heard the music in your house, he loved the times when you gave him that look, he felt those times when he knew all he needed was just to come over to you and put his head on your lap or lay at your feet because he sensed you were down. this is what he knew best. he saw thru his sweet eyes the face of a man and woman and children who gave him the best life any dog could ever ask for.

do not be sorry, be proud.
you did right by scout.
he knew it then and he knows it now.

[ProfessorFrink]

I'm sorry to read about this you guys. hold on to that positive stuff that Scout gave ya.

[_sysiphus_]

Neil and Sharon, I'm so sorry. You didn't neglect or fail Scout at all, please don't beat yourself up for it. You gave him a home and the love of a family and his last memories are warm ones, spent in the presence of his family and in his home. He knows how much you all love him and did everything you could for him.

[jennie10]

((((((((((((Neil and Share))))))))))))))

Dunno what to say, everyone has already said it way better than I can. Just wanted to send you hugs.

[share]

belated thanks to everybody for their comments

it's a tough tough tough thing - they're your babies and you love and nurture them