poopypants
03-28-2001, 02:52 PM
Good Afternoon Philadelphia---
To get y'all into the philadelphia spirit, i want to warm you up with a comical story about one of Philadelphia's most famous residents and guido extrodinairre, Edward Savitz. The funniest story I ever heard about guidos concerned the torrid tale of "Fast Eddie" Savitz. Fast Eddie was an infamous character in the South Jersey/Philly area for years before he got busted by the police for his gregarious behavior. Fast Eddie was known by the male youth of this area as a quick source of cash. He was a successful businessman who lived in a fancy-schmancy apartment in Philadelphia. He offered boys and young men a simple offer: Give him your soiled underwear, socks, jockstraps, etc. and he'd give you money. For allowing him to suck you off, pissing on him or shitting in a pizza box, a guy got paid more. When he got busted, a ridiculous number of trash bags filled with soiled garments (and more than a few pizza boxes with fossilized turds in them) were found in his apartment and in several rented storage units. Suddenly a gaggle of young men found themselves without a part-time job. Ironically enough, Fast Eddie (or, as he was known in some Philly suburbs, "Uncle Ed") was most frequented by guidos and jocks who, as we all know, tend to be the most vocal and violent homophobes. So while by day the average guido was calling anyone without a vowel at the end of their name a flaming faggot, by night would be selling his undies to a guy who preferred poop to pepperoni on his pizza. We all knew about the existence of Fast Eddie for years. The jocks and guidos would whisper of him in the locker rooms and gymnasium of my high school. Hearing of Fast Eddie only made me jealous that I didn't know where to go to sell my pissy panties for some cold, hard cash. When the story finally broke, a year or two after I graduated high school, it sent shock waves through the area. For not only, as I said, did a whole lot of youth lose a well-paying job (one without health benefits, sadly enough), but Fast Eddie was discovered to have AIDS and it was feared that he spread it to some of the kids. To think, the biggest homophobes I ever encountered may have AIDS from selling sexual favors to a flaming AIDS-bag. I couldn't help but smirk as the lascivious tale unfolded further. Good Catholic boys were panicking and parents and clergy members alike were scrambling to counsel troubled youth. (And, surely, convince them that they were Fast Eddie's victims, even though they entered every act of their own free will.) Most of "Eddies boys" (of which there were, literally, hundreds) will go on with their pathetic lives. Some, however, will live with scars and fear forever. Do I have it? Will I get it? Am I gay? Sometimes the ironies of life bring a smile to my face and a song to my heart. Was Uncle Ed national news? Have you guys ever encountered his made-for-tv movie tale? I think it would be a great script, with Gary Oldman as the late great Mr. Savitz.
Also, regarding the former post on disgusting fast food experiences, i have two. The first is a time when my dad and i went to Wendy's and i ordered a yummy chicken sandwich only to find a sizzled cockroach sleeping in between my buns. I believe it was an act of God that i even looked before eating or else i would have unknowingly digested it with a smile and a belly full of eggs. My stomach would have been a wonderful incubator for the baby roaches as they probably would have hatched in my sleep and crawled out of my mouth. Rule of thumb, always check before you eat. My second story is not about the food but about the always unpredictable atmosphere that fast food joints create. Whether it's the homeless guy taking a dump on the floor in the bathroom or the 4 year old puking up a shamrock shake, the places never dissappoint. We have a McDonald's in one of our malls around here(yes, we all love the fast food mall locations) and outside of the store there is a little setup with the McDonald's gang behind a small picket fence. Ronnie, Hamburglar, Grimace(aka the prune), and that fuckin birdy thing with fighter pilot glasses on, they're all there. Well, there's this crazy old woman who used to walk around the mall and talk to herself, i think she was homeless, but never really bothered anyone until one day when she hopped over the picket fence and started blowing the life sized Ronald McDonald statue. It was really funny, yet fucked up. She would go to town on Ronnie's imaginary cock, using her hands sometimes to mimick shaft movement, the whole nine yards. One of my friends even told me she would turn around and pretend Ron was doin her from behind! Unreal. I think fast food stories are priceless and not mentioned enough, so speak up on any strange encounters you may have witnessed before.
Before the questions, i want everyone to say hello to Anne. She is very underappreciated and at times quiet in here and today is her day. So Anne, #18 is dedicated to you.
1.If you could be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?
2.What has been the longest and shortest fuck sessions you've had(in minutes and hours)?
3.Name your one favorite song off every PJ album, including LO2L. Please don't give me any 'i hate these types of questions' bullshit. I know it's a tough call, but i need a concensus.
4.BRIEFLY describe what happenned on the worst day of you life.
5.What is your ultimate sexual fantasy? Elaboration is expected here.
6.Checking back on the 80s theme earlier, name something(a toy, a product, a movie, etc,) from the 80s that you think everyone in here has forgotten about until you mention it.
BONUS(er):For $1,000,000.00 would you purposely gain 100 pounds?
Hi Anne
1. First off I would definately go to a local high school girl's locker room and pretend i was a janitor or some shit and just stare at the little 11th graders getting undressed. I would definately masturbate for at least 2 hours so i could feel what chicks feel(i would not want cock because then that's gay). I would also probably walk around the mall with a really short and tight skirt on with no undies and constantly drop money on the ground and bend over so everyone could check out my bush from behind. Girls have power like that and I would abuse it all day.
2.Longest = 1hr 15min Shortest = 3 minute quicky
3.Ten = Oceans, Vs = Dissident, Vitalogy = Nothingman, No Code = Present Tense, Yield = Lowlight, LO2L = Corduroy, Binaural = Light Years
4.I would say when my grandfather died and going to the funeral, maybe when Kurt Cobain died ...YEA RIGHT
5.Three women and me. I'm on my back and one's fuckin me, one's sittin on my face and the other watches. Then they all take turns, we do it different positions, i check myself out in the mirror(flex a couple times YEA!), then we move to the shower where i wash all of them and they dyke it out so i can watch them. God, this is great.
6.How about Pogo Balls?
Bonus: Hellz yea
Hi Anne,
Poopy "the new england knuckler" Pants
To get y'all into the philadelphia spirit, i want to warm you up with a comical story about one of Philadelphia's most famous residents and guido extrodinairre, Edward Savitz. The funniest story I ever heard about guidos concerned the torrid tale of "Fast Eddie" Savitz. Fast Eddie was an infamous character in the South Jersey/Philly area for years before he got busted by the police for his gregarious behavior. Fast Eddie was known by the male youth of this area as a quick source of cash. He was a successful businessman who lived in a fancy-schmancy apartment in Philadelphia. He offered boys and young men a simple offer: Give him your soiled underwear, socks, jockstraps, etc. and he'd give you money. For allowing him to suck you off, pissing on him or shitting in a pizza box, a guy got paid more. When he got busted, a ridiculous number of trash bags filled with soiled garments (and more than a few pizza boxes with fossilized turds in them) were found in his apartment and in several rented storage units. Suddenly a gaggle of young men found themselves without a part-time job. Ironically enough, Fast Eddie (or, as he was known in some Philly suburbs, "Uncle Ed") was most frequented by guidos and jocks who, as we all know, tend to be the most vocal and violent homophobes. So while by day the average guido was calling anyone without a vowel at the end of their name a flaming faggot, by night would be selling his undies to a guy who preferred poop to pepperoni on his pizza. We all knew about the existence of Fast Eddie for years. The jocks and guidos would whisper of him in the locker rooms and gymnasium of my high school. Hearing of Fast Eddie only made me jealous that I didn't know where to go to sell my pissy panties for some cold, hard cash. When the story finally broke, a year or two after I graduated high school, it sent shock waves through the area. For not only, as I said, did a whole lot of youth lose a well-paying job (one without health benefits, sadly enough), but Fast Eddie was discovered to have AIDS and it was feared that he spread it to some of the kids. To think, the biggest homophobes I ever encountered may have AIDS from selling sexual favors to a flaming AIDS-bag. I couldn't help but smirk as the lascivious tale unfolded further. Good Catholic boys were panicking and parents and clergy members alike were scrambling to counsel troubled youth. (And, surely, convince them that they were Fast Eddie's victims, even though they entered every act of their own free will.) Most of "Eddies boys" (of which there were, literally, hundreds) will go on with their pathetic lives. Some, however, will live with scars and fear forever. Do I have it? Will I get it? Am I gay? Sometimes the ironies of life bring a smile to my face and a song to my heart. Was Uncle Ed national news? Have you guys ever encountered his made-for-tv movie tale? I think it would be a great script, with Gary Oldman as the late great Mr. Savitz.
Also, regarding the former post on disgusting fast food experiences, i have two. The first is a time when my dad and i went to Wendy's and i ordered a yummy chicken sandwich only to find a sizzled cockroach sleeping in between my buns. I believe it was an act of God that i even looked before eating or else i would have unknowingly digested it with a smile and a belly full of eggs. My stomach would have been a wonderful incubator for the baby roaches as they probably would have hatched in my sleep and crawled out of my mouth. Rule of thumb, always check before you eat. My second story is not about the food but about the always unpredictable atmosphere that fast food joints create. Whether it's the homeless guy taking a dump on the floor in the bathroom or the 4 year old puking up a shamrock shake, the places never dissappoint. We have a McDonald's in one of our malls around here(yes, we all love the fast food mall locations) and outside of the store there is a little setup with the McDonald's gang behind a small picket fence. Ronnie, Hamburglar, Grimace(aka the prune), and that fuckin birdy thing with fighter pilot glasses on, they're all there. Well, there's this crazy old woman who used to walk around the mall and talk to herself, i think she was homeless, but never really bothered anyone until one day when she hopped over the picket fence and started blowing the life sized Ronald McDonald statue. It was really funny, yet fucked up. She would go to town on Ronnie's imaginary cock, using her hands sometimes to mimick shaft movement, the whole nine yards. One of my friends even told me she would turn around and pretend Ron was doin her from behind! Unreal. I think fast food stories are priceless and not mentioned enough, so speak up on any strange encounters you may have witnessed before.
Before the questions, i want everyone to say hello to Anne. She is very underappreciated and at times quiet in here and today is her day. So Anne, #18 is dedicated to you.
1.If you could be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?
2.What has been the longest and shortest fuck sessions you've had(in minutes and hours)?
3.Name your one favorite song off every PJ album, including LO2L. Please don't give me any 'i hate these types of questions' bullshit. I know it's a tough call, but i need a concensus.
4.BRIEFLY describe what happenned on the worst day of you life.
5.What is your ultimate sexual fantasy? Elaboration is expected here.
6.Checking back on the 80s theme earlier, name something(a toy, a product, a movie, etc,) from the 80s that you think everyone in here has forgotten about until you mention it.
BONUS(er):For $1,000,000.00 would you purposely gain 100 pounds?
Hi Anne
1. First off I would definately go to a local high school girl's locker room and pretend i was a janitor or some shit and just stare at the little 11th graders getting undressed. I would definately masturbate for at least 2 hours so i could feel what chicks feel(i would not want cock because then that's gay). I would also probably walk around the mall with a really short and tight skirt on with no undies and constantly drop money on the ground and bend over so everyone could check out my bush from behind. Girls have power like that and I would abuse it all day.
2.Longest = 1hr 15min Shortest = 3 minute quicky
3.Ten = Oceans, Vs = Dissident, Vitalogy = Nothingman, No Code = Present Tense, Yield = Lowlight, LO2L = Corduroy, Binaural = Light Years
4.I would say when my grandfather died and going to the funeral, maybe when Kurt Cobain died ...YEA RIGHT
5.Three women and me. I'm on my back and one's fuckin me, one's sittin on my face and the other watches. Then they all take turns, we do it different positions, i check myself out in the mirror(flex a couple times YEA!), then we move to the shower where i wash all of them and they dyke it out so i can watch them. God, this is great.
6.How about Pogo Balls?
Bonus: Hellz yea
Hi Anne,
Poopy "the new england knuckler" Pants