poopypants
03-21-2001, 02:34 PM
Punani Pirates--
I don't know where all of you live, but here in Philly it is cold and rainy and this weather depresses me. This is the exact reason that I am moving to California in the next couple of weeks, because out there the weather is fine and the women are young and delicious. I might have to get my Latina on when i reach my destination, try some new flavors. You see, I'm all about going interracial. When i was in high school I dated some girl who was half Chinese and believe me she was a fine piece of Peking ass. It didn't hurt that she was a direct desendant of one of the Chinese Dynasties and had millions and millions of dollars, but that's besides the point. Actually, i dated a half-Japanese chick in high school also and unfortunately she was a heroin addict who loved The Cure and ate Prozac like they were Sweet Tarts. So I hit up China and Japan, i guess i need to find me a nice Taiwanese next time around. But, i digress, i think i'm going for a Latina next because it's something about that curvy ass and darker skin that makes me randy. Unfortunately, it seems to me that Latina girls don't dig white dudes?? I know this is a generalization but come on now, I got just what they need, even moreso than any other ethnicity. A big dong is a big dong no matter what country it's from and my tubesteak can speak all languages and speak them well and fluently. Crossing the boundaries is a wonderful thing and I am open if anyone wants to come in....I was hanging out with a couple buddies last night and of course around here the topic was Guidos because one of my friends got into a little fight with one of them the other night and it brought us into a discussion about the true Philadelphia Guido, not to be confused with the North Jersey Guido(the true american guido). I'll share a little with you so you can get a deeper appreciation for this wonderful city and it's wonderful residents. A Philadelphia guido is one of the lowest forms of human life currently co-inhabiting our planet. Guidos must be Italian, however some non-dagos(particularly the Irish) occasionally aspire to be guidos. This is an impossibility that is the cause of many a laugh on the part of guido and non-guidos alike. Simply put, a guido is a young (or "young acting") wop who rides atop whatever trend is hot, drives a "cool" car, fucks bitches with hair sculpted into little spikes or particular geometric strips that would put your average punk rocker to shame, beats up everyone and anyone that is in any way out of the ordinary (but is smaller than himself), and dresses with the
impeccable taste of one who lacks any taste, but aspires to be fashionable.
When you hear the sounds of pumping bass on a car stereo (and it's sending your Precious Moments figurines sailing to the floor), you know it's either
a brutha (black guy) or Mike Bonfigliani in his IROC pumping Q-102 so loud it's cracking the hair gel on his head into chunks. As the old cliche goes, the car
can serve as an extension of a male's penis, and in no scenario is that more true than in the strange case of the Philadelphia guido. Every year, a new car. Every year, a new accident. Wash it, polish it, stroke it, grope a girl in the
back seat of it, drive it into a tree while drunk on Everclear and peppermint schnapps. The most ironic inconsistency in the sordid life of the guido is his simultaneous hatred of blacks and his love of rap music. They may be a "buncha fuckin' n***ers" but they can "pump the fuckin' jams, hoss". It must be their "natural rhythm". Imagine, if you will, Johnny, Joey D. and Frankie Pagliano cruising down South Street Philadelphia pumping the Snoop Doggy Dog and
looking for a jig to bash. The hypocrisy of such ludicrous behavior ("Hey, speak fuckin' English, faggot!") goes beyond their teeny-tiny monkey brains,
though. It is these types of species that we see around these parts and to be honest with you, I believe the world would be a better place without them, just wipe 'em all out at once. If you are a Guido reading this message please go and stick your head under a running lawnmower and leave your gold chains on. I would be happy to answer any questions at all about the Philly Guido if you care to ask. Bon Appetit!
1.How and when do you think you are going to die?
2.Who is/was the hottest TV parent?
3.This is a question i've never been able to figure out. When you die and go to heaven(if you don't believe in heaven play along, humor me) what age are you supposed to be?? For instance if i saw my grandparents would they be old or would they be young and therefore practically unrecognizable? Do you think you can choose what age you want to look like? Wouldn't everyone choose around 21?
4.What's your feelings and experiences with masturbating in front of your partner? Do you do it?
5.During the first bridge of "In my Tree" what are they saying? It's the part before the second verse(which begins "I remember wheeennn yea". Eddie says something, then the band echoes some other shit. To this day no one has ever come up with an answer for me.
6.What's your favorite restaraunt to eat at(it's gotta be a known one) and this includes food, atmosphere, etc.
BONUS(er):To earn a weekend of passion with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu AND Drew Barrymore or(George Clooney, Jude Law, and Brad Pitt) would you rather:
A)Lather and shave a drunken Coolio's ass.
B)Lick butterscotch puddin' off of Rosie O'donnell's sweaty belly.
C)Cut, roll & smoke Anne Heche's Pubes.
My Answers:
1.Car accident, i can just feel it. I believe sometime in the next 5 years.
2.Hands down the step-mom from Silver Spoons. I would make sweet love to her for 5 straight days.
3.i asked the question, you tell me.
4.I've never done it before but i think i would love to watch my girl do it in front of me, occasionally helping her out when she needs it. Fingering her ass, whatever.
5.i asked the question, you tell me.
6.I would have to say Outback. Outback fuckin rocks with some tasty food.
BONUS(er):A, bring on the gangsta ass
Cordially yours,
Poopy "the mexican marauder" Pants
I don't know where all of you live, but here in Philly it is cold and rainy and this weather depresses me. This is the exact reason that I am moving to California in the next couple of weeks, because out there the weather is fine and the women are young and delicious. I might have to get my Latina on when i reach my destination, try some new flavors. You see, I'm all about going interracial. When i was in high school I dated some girl who was half Chinese and believe me she was a fine piece of Peking ass. It didn't hurt that she was a direct desendant of one of the Chinese Dynasties and had millions and millions of dollars, but that's besides the point. Actually, i dated a half-Japanese chick in high school also and unfortunately she was a heroin addict who loved The Cure and ate Prozac like they were Sweet Tarts. So I hit up China and Japan, i guess i need to find me a nice Taiwanese next time around. But, i digress, i think i'm going for a Latina next because it's something about that curvy ass and darker skin that makes me randy. Unfortunately, it seems to me that Latina girls don't dig white dudes?? I know this is a generalization but come on now, I got just what they need, even moreso than any other ethnicity. A big dong is a big dong no matter what country it's from and my tubesteak can speak all languages and speak them well and fluently. Crossing the boundaries is a wonderful thing and I am open if anyone wants to come in....I was hanging out with a couple buddies last night and of course around here the topic was Guidos because one of my friends got into a little fight with one of them the other night and it brought us into a discussion about the true Philadelphia Guido, not to be confused with the North Jersey Guido(the true american guido). I'll share a little with you so you can get a deeper appreciation for this wonderful city and it's wonderful residents. A Philadelphia guido is one of the lowest forms of human life currently co-inhabiting our planet. Guidos must be Italian, however some non-dagos(particularly the Irish) occasionally aspire to be guidos. This is an impossibility that is the cause of many a laugh on the part of guido and non-guidos alike. Simply put, a guido is a young (or "young acting") wop who rides atop whatever trend is hot, drives a "cool" car, fucks bitches with hair sculpted into little spikes or particular geometric strips that would put your average punk rocker to shame, beats up everyone and anyone that is in any way out of the ordinary (but is smaller than himself), and dresses with the
impeccable taste of one who lacks any taste, but aspires to be fashionable.
When you hear the sounds of pumping bass on a car stereo (and it's sending your Precious Moments figurines sailing to the floor), you know it's either
a brutha (black guy) or Mike Bonfigliani in his IROC pumping Q-102 so loud it's cracking the hair gel on his head into chunks. As the old cliche goes, the car
can serve as an extension of a male's penis, and in no scenario is that more true than in the strange case of the Philadelphia guido. Every year, a new car. Every year, a new accident. Wash it, polish it, stroke it, grope a girl in the
back seat of it, drive it into a tree while drunk on Everclear and peppermint schnapps. The most ironic inconsistency in the sordid life of the guido is his simultaneous hatred of blacks and his love of rap music. They may be a "buncha fuckin' n***ers" but they can "pump the fuckin' jams, hoss". It must be their "natural rhythm". Imagine, if you will, Johnny, Joey D. and Frankie Pagliano cruising down South Street Philadelphia pumping the Snoop Doggy Dog and
looking for a jig to bash. The hypocrisy of such ludicrous behavior ("Hey, speak fuckin' English, faggot!") goes beyond their teeny-tiny monkey brains,
though. It is these types of species that we see around these parts and to be honest with you, I believe the world would be a better place without them, just wipe 'em all out at once. If you are a Guido reading this message please go and stick your head under a running lawnmower and leave your gold chains on. I would be happy to answer any questions at all about the Philly Guido if you care to ask. Bon Appetit!
1.How and when do you think you are going to die?
2.Who is/was the hottest TV parent?
3.This is a question i've never been able to figure out. When you die and go to heaven(if you don't believe in heaven play along, humor me) what age are you supposed to be?? For instance if i saw my grandparents would they be old or would they be young and therefore practically unrecognizable? Do you think you can choose what age you want to look like? Wouldn't everyone choose around 21?
4.What's your feelings and experiences with masturbating in front of your partner? Do you do it?
5.During the first bridge of "In my Tree" what are they saying? It's the part before the second verse(which begins "I remember wheeennn yea". Eddie says something, then the band echoes some other shit. To this day no one has ever come up with an answer for me.
6.What's your favorite restaraunt to eat at(it's gotta be a known one) and this includes food, atmosphere, etc.
BONUS(er):To earn a weekend of passion with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu AND Drew Barrymore or(George Clooney, Jude Law, and Brad Pitt) would you rather:
A)Lather and shave a drunken Coolio's ass.
B)Lick butterscotch puddin' off of Rosie O'donnell's sweaty belly.
C)Cut, roll & smoke Anne Heche's Pubes.
My Answers:
1.Car accident, i can just feel it. I believe sometime in the next 5 years.
2.Hands down the step-mom from Silver Spoons. I would make sweet love to her for 5 straight days.
3.i asked the question, you tell me.
4.I've never done it before but i think i would love to watch my girl do it in front of me, occasionally helping her out when she needs it. Fingering her ass, whatever.
5.i asked the question, you tell me.
6.I would have to say Outback. Outback fuckin rocks with some tasty food.
BONUS(er):A, bring on the gangsta ass
Cordially yours,
Poopy "the mexican marauder" Pants