Life Questions #15

[poopypants]

Hussies & Hardbodies-

Haven't spoken to anyone in what seems like three weeks, and the board now feels like it's changed so much. I feel like a foreigner, isolated and exiled. It's like when you go away and then return home to find your favorite adult video store turned into a Starbucks. I don't even know you guys anymore, hell, i don't even know myself. Every other post is about an ex-wife/husband, killing yourself, depression, adultery...oh wait, nothing's changed after all! Great to see you guys again. Hope you all have stayed out of jail and kept warm in your beds getting your hotbox on. Nothing better on the weekends then hopping in bed and having periodic sex romps between episodes of Maury and Rikki. A girlfriend and I used to play this 'game' where one of us would give oral during commercials and naturally i chose the Real World Marathon as my show of choice that weekend. So i too, late last night, was thinking about eating tub and was eerily reminded about another past girlfriend who had a slight problem below the mason-dixon. I offer this tale to all of you out there(and that includes every single person in here who reminds all of us that their barn is clean) who THINKS they smell like rose pedals. Sure, like any of you are gonna announce that you have a reek-room in your pants. Yes, I know i seem to be fixated on this feminine hygene thing but you have to understand that as a guy who would love to make his gal feel good, I want to eat your pussy for 3 hours, shit 3 days until my tongue and face cramp up, but I can't do it if you taste like rotten fruit cocktail. This will benefit all men, and you will love us even more for it. The girl in question who will remain nameless(Shannon from West Palm Beach, FL) had the most reeking cat i have ever encountered. It's hard to let them know just how putrid it really is, but after i did the initial subtle-finger across the nose deal, i knew i was in for a hellish relationship, along with a stench on my finger that even carpenter's soap can't erase. I would have to burn my sheets after coitus. I know she washed up her beanpie when she showered and all, but she just couldn't get rid of the decay, the filth, the evil. This was the beginning of the end for this girl. Now I couldn't chow down which resulted in less action for me which ultimately ended the whole courtship. All because of a dirty beaver. She was secretly known between me and all my friends who i naturally filled in as the "Stanktank". So girls, please check up on your ballfield and make sure your doing everything you can for your partner because someday you just might run across someone like me who wants to rock you for 4 hours straight.

1.We'll start off easy today. What, so far, is your favorite bootleg? What is the best song off a bootleg that you have heard? This tour you dummy.

2.Girls, settle a debate I'm having, do you prefer, on a guy, jeans that are baggier or tighter? I'm not saying like homeboy-wigger baggy, but baggier. Same goes with the tightness factor. Guys, feel free to comment on your style because we're all just dying to know.

3.I am currently not the victim of heartache(thank god because it might be a pain worse than death). I was listening to Howard Stern today and they were saying how Puff Daddy is going crazy without Jennifer Lopez and the mention of her name sends him into depression. If I were as ugly as him and had that fine piece of Puerto Rican ass i'd be going nuts too. My question is, what is the secret to letting go of that ex? Please think out your answers because I really hope everyone doesn't say the same bullshit over and over. This is serious business and a true life question.

4.What is the funniest thing you've ever seen in your life(event, joke, movie, anything)?

5.What's the most outrageous porn movie title you've ever seen?

6.What's you favorite toy you owned as a child?

BONUS(er):
For $10,000, which would you do?

A)Stick your nose against the anus of a platonic friend for three whole minutes.
B)Suck all the snot from the nose of a business associate who has a cold (which you may then spit out).
C)Walk around all day with a large, oyster-like booger hanging from your nose (which you cannot explain to anyone).

My Answers:

1.Best Bootleg = Philly 1(not even being biased). Best Song = Portland Improv.
2.I wear Levis Wide Leg jeans. Not too baggy, just straight up money.
3.I have no idea what to do in these situations. Usually I just smoke a lot of pot, play my guitar imagining what i would play for her when trying to get her back, and wonder how i'm supposed to get over heartbreak. A vicious cylce, my stomach drops just thinking about it.
4.7th grade, this big fat girl was doing her book report in the front of the class and she had her first period in front of all of us and too bad for her because we knew immediately thanks to her white jeans.
5.Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildoes
6.Gotta be my Transformers or my Dukes of Hazzard tent
BONUS(er):B

Mama I'm coming home,

Poopy "the wilmington wrangler" Pants

[13throwcenter]

I'm with you on today's topic, Mr. Pants... but you know, this goes both ways, dude. Guys can smell funny too.... clean up, gentlemen!!
and...mmmmmmmm...speaking of fruit cocktail.... I served up a little of that over the weekend.... he really seemed to enjoy to additional nutrition.... oranges....strawberries.....grapes..... yuuuuummmm

1. Fave bootleg.... i cannot answer yet as I have not finished listening to all of them, but I'm leaning on Seattle 2. My fave song so far tho is Patriot from Boston 1.

2. One word, 3 numbers.... Levi's 501's

3. There is no secret I'm afraid... it just takes time... or punching him in the face seems to help too... Man... I could write a book on this subject....hey wait...I *am* writing a book on this subject!!

4. Funniest thing.... I was in the parking lot after having gotten off the bus from campus... I noticed this crow sitting on the roof of a car and his head was bobbing back and forth...When I focused in on him, i realized he was pecking at the nose of a Jack in the Box antenna ball.... he kept pecking and pecking at it, and I was laughing my ass off watching him...then suddenly he ripped that sucker off and flew away with it in his beak!! haha! I imagined there being some Crow gang initiation going on or something.... "Yeah dude- go steal the nose off that Jack and bring it back to me"...heh heh heh

5. Elderly woman ON the counter in a small town. (hahahaha- thanks Ardy!)

6. Favorite toy..... damn, can't I just say what my favorite *toy* is now? hmmmm.... my favorite toy.... i have no clue. Sorry.

Boner: this is pushing the limits for ol 13, but I'll say A....as long as there has been some cleansing done.... and who knows.... maybe the platonic relationship might....uh.... advance?

Happy spring, Jammers.



~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[meaningless]

Hahaha Sandi I'm laughing out loud at your responses...

1

Well I haven't ordered my 2nd leg boots yet (haha that sounds kinda funny... like if you think of boots as a pair of shoes? It would be even funnier if there was a third leg and I was talkign about that one). And fuck you, I don't know what's my fave from leg 1. I haven't listened to the boots I have that much... I don't know why. Pittsburgh is good, but I only mention that one cuz it's the last one i listened to. /images/smile.gif

2

I'm thinking about it, and I think I don't really like jeans on a guy. I like other kinds of pants. Not jeans, tho. At least not blue jeans. As for the roominess of other kinds of pants, I guess it depends on the pants? I guess I like them fitting but with room, you know? And I HATE tapered pants, so forget those, mmmk? And pleats. Ewww.

3

The secret to letting to is never to have had a girl/boyfriend in the first place. That's the only advice I am equipped to give.

4

Okay you're asking me to review 21.5 years and tell you the singlemost funny thing that happened? I simply can't. Add to that hte fact that i've been in quite an unfunny mood for a long, long, long time (yes, that was my georgie harrison reference... i, me, mine... hahaha...) All I can say is I'm appalled that you, poop, think that that chick's period was the funniest thing ever... if I saw that, I'd count it as one of the saddest or... like... tragically embarrassing moments, even for ME as a spectator. That's god awful, man. Poor girl.

5

I have to say I don't pay to much attention to porn movie titles... Not that I"m too busy watching the porn, but I just don't see much porn, and I never visit the porn section of the video store. of the like three or four porns i've seen, the funniest opening scene was this fat gypsy-dressed lady coming into some gathering of people and saying "Let me tell you about black chicks..." I don't know, you had to be there. It was just funny.

6

I don't remember my favorite toy either. I liked barbies alot. But I DO remember this thing I really wish I still had, but it's hard to explain. It was like a zippered case with pencils and colored pencils and markers and stuff... and it was vinyl with a huge picture of a hamburger on it. I said I cna't explain it. I'd love to find one, tho, and i've tried searching on the web but it's hard to figure out what to search under. Bleh.

Bonus: A.

-Nicole

http://www.umich.edu/~nweisber/hotdog.gif



"if just once... i could feel love... oh stare back at me, yeah..."

[reallygroovN]

ok...im answering these questions then ill get to work /images/wink.gif

pretest: wash up guys....

1. i agree with poopy...philly one is the best...breath kicks butt
2. i like a guy with jeans that are not too tight but not baggy (work boots and a tee make the outfit complete /images/wink.gif)
3. well, ive been with my man for a long long time...but back in the day, there was nothing better to get over heartache than revenge...get the girl friends together, steal his new "little black book", then back home to smoke a couple a bowls and then make some really interesting calls mentioning veneral diseases, jail time and bastard children....if that doesnt get you over the hump, there is always the sugar in his gas tank...oh and doing his best friend is always a plus /images/wink.gif now, i'm not saying that I, personally, did these things....but it is always nice to have a bunch of wild friends who are willing to go that extra mile....p.s. dont fuck wit me /images/tongue.gif
4. one of the funniest things was at the pj boston2 concert, there was this big drunk guy and when he walked by, sandi pinched his ass /images/wink.gif, but when he turned around, he thought IIIIIIIIII pinched his ass and he was all selling me shit...then we realized that it was the drunk chick trying to edge her way between san and i who pinched his ass (yeah right, i still say it was san) so he takes one look at her (the drunk chick) and she takes that same look at him and he jumps on her and they practically do the nasty right there in the sand /images/shocked.gif a funny, PJ related thing...do i get bonus points?????
5. dont look at the titles, sorry /images/wink.gif
6. my little stuffed rudulph the red nose raindeer

bonor....wouldnt do any of em, sorry...i do have my limits /images/shocked.gif

[yer ardy]

a day without 'life questions' is like a day without Ex-lax...and i agree with lady 13..the aroma factor goes both ways.. so, guys? don't be afraid of little soap action downtown and get to know that toothbrush again, k?

1. i'm really liking las vegas...and 'crown of thorns' is on repeat..

2. said bagginess allows for easy access....tighters are just too 'john- travolta-in-saturday-night-fever-ish', i like to wonder as my eyes wander...

3. i really don't know as i have not experienced this episode of life...

4. i went to a wedding where the father of the groom approached the altar to light the candles and he tripped and fell..literally in front of god and everybody...flat on his face, dropping the candle-lighter-thingee and pulling down a tablecloth type thing in the process...there wasn't a dry eye in the house from the laughter and they actually postponed the wedding for about 45 mins so everyone could regroup and get control....didn't work, throughout the ceremony, shits and giggles could be heard...

5. Real: American Fuckers
13sChat: State of Love and Thrust

6. Op Yops

BONers R (US): Aa

@>-->----
~there's still time to change the road you're on..

[Not_Trapped]

we all need to wash deep down...deeeeeeeeeep down

1

columbus....FIRST SHOW EVER.....hmmmm long road from va beach

2

i wear silvertab wide legs

3

get really drunk and call her up and threaten to kill her and then spill a quart of red kool aid on yourself and realize how trivial the whole thing way to stupid for you to care about and just laugh and laugh and then 4 years later deal with it for real

4

robert deniro crying in analyze this

5

forrest hump

6

star wars action figures

bonus

A

--dominic


staring blankly back at you

[ProfessorFrink]

4. The funniest thing I ever saw occurred several years ago on a sunny summer afternoon in a schoolyard. My friends and I were playing baseball and we decided to take a break in between innings. While we were sitting in the shade, some kid was riding his bike in the distance. Well the kid must have hit a rock or something because he flew over his handlebars and did an impressive lip-stand on the dirt path which he was riding on. Upon seeing this we all burst out into laughter and the poor little helmetless bastard gave us a "woe is me" look and he went on his way.

Later that afternoon while we were finishing up our game the kid drove by once again, with a helmet. Upon seeing him this time one of my buddies exclaimed, "Look! There he goes again."

I don't why this seemed so funny to me, but it did.

[bluecow]

agree with 13... guys need to wash up too.
1. pittsburgh, cuz i was there. favorite song" TYAAM from indy.

2. well, what i like is jeans that are kinda levis 501 like but maybe 2 or 3 sizes too big... you know? i don;t like the huge-ass baggy jeans.

3. i don't know... i've always wondered the same thing about puffy... he is pretty damn ugly.

4. in a post-sex conversation me and my boyfriend started talking about that simpsons episode where they had 100 tacos for $100 so we were saying that that was kind of expensive cuz taco bell tacos are like .39, so then we got into this thing about taco to dollars conversion, how much everything would cost in tacos... go to buy a taco and it's 1.07 tacos cuz there's tax... hehe, well it was funny as hell at the time.

5. well, i've only watched part of one, my boyfriend's dad has a stash of them, so this one was called WGWLBBC: white girls who like big black cock

6. i had this weird little frog thing and it had a net in one hand and when you push this button on it's head the net came down and it's head lit up. it was a pretty stupid... i don't know, mainly i just liked to draw a lot when i was a kid.

boner:
well, i really don't know... i think i would have to go with A, assuming it was clean, and is this a male or female friend, cuz i'd rather it be female cuz my female friends tend to have better hygene and less hair in that area. cuz B would probably make me gag and throw up, and C would just be much more annoying than embarassing... just to feel this thing hanging there all day.







--------------------------------
-You only had one chance. Why be a window washer?- Buk

[13throwcenter]

I did not pinch the ass of said drunk guy- I was too busy rocking my ass off /images/tongue.gif

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[reallygroovN]

didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodi dtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidt oodidtoo
didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodi dtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidt oodidtoo
didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodi dtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidt oodidtoo
didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodi dtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidt oodidtoo
didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodi dtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidt oodidtoo
didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodi dtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidt oodidtoo
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/images/tongue.gif

[13throwcenter]

you have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands!!!

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[bluecow]

do guys actually like it when girls wear really ass tight jeans that look like they'd be uncomfortable to walk in? i think it just looks really stupid, but i'm a chick so i really don't know.

--------------------------------
-You only had one chance. Why be a window washer?- Buk

[poopypants]

typical answer, but if you have really nice legs and a shapely ass, tight jeans work for me, any guy would say that too

[13throwcenter]

the problem is, most women who wear tight ass jeans have no business wearing them!!!



~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[vitolochica]

Ewwwwwwwwww Ewwwwwwwwwww Ewwwwwwwwwww....hey Poopy! I've missed you. My babe smells like Sparkling Green Apple from Bath and Body Works...men like apples right? Anyhoo here are my respuestas to your preguntas....

1. San Francisco why? Because it kicks ass, I had a moment with the band before and after the show AND I'm on this friggin bootleg (literally) you can hear me and Candice on this boot....so if not for the music, then for the fact that I've been immortalized in it forever and ever and ever DAMNIT! Best song: Betterman/SIFL tag on the LA and SF boots...

2. Not too baggy and not too tight...just right.

3. Crying, writing, and then taking a long hot bath with candles, incense, drink some hot cocoa, talk on the phone with my best friend Jen, relax, and ask God to give me the strength to move on and to be able to deal with the pain. I ususally feel better the next morning. He has never failed me....

4. 2 lovers arguing over what toothbrush to buy at Target...no joke it was friggin hilarious...I felt sorry for the poor bastard but not too much because any man that decides to date a spoiled high maintenance bitch is really the cause of his own downfall....

5. Funniest Porn title: The Loin King

6. My red corvette (I was a tomboy and loved to play with cars) also my pink My Little Pony...

Bonus: C...boogers are fun :):)

y para ser más franca nadie piensa en ti como lo hago yo aunque te dé lo mismo...

[csmooth24]

1. favorite boot, seattle 2...favorite song, tie...the kids are alright, seattle 2 and crown of thorns, seattle 1...

2. i am a baggy jean guy...

3. no real ex's that have been long term...getting over "short term" girls is hard enough and don't wanna think about the other...

4. similar answer to you poopy...5th grade...the fat girl in our class was wearing a dress and her tampon fell out at recess...it was funny as hell at the time but looking back...i feel sorry for her.

5. don't remember the names...i have seen some sick shit...

6. i gotta say my nintendo..i spent way too much time playing it!

boner...C...all the way!


~chris
http://www.culturedpearls.com/pearljam/images/alive2.gif

[RogueTrader]

The smell thing is never usually a problem with the women I date....I shudder to think of the kind of skanky ass trolls you have been hanging out with, dude.

1. London 1 for me. Timeless Melody is awesome.

2. I usually wear Calvin easy fits. I like a little room to move. To echo the comments below relating to girls with big asses and small jeans. i whole heartedly agree. It goes further for me though. Even good looking girls in tight jeans don't really do it for me. It just reminds me of stonewash, big hair, too much make up and white platforms.....don't know why it should conjure up thoughts of my brother.... Girls....loose, and cinched tightly at the waist with plenty of navel showing....looser jeans accentuate a great butt better.

3. Well, first you have sex with a random array of women to prove that you 'still got the stuff'. Then you raelise that it's no where near as good as being with her despite the fact that the fucking bitch toyed with you emotions all the time and that the last thing to be there there was an isreali Paratrooper. Then you make lots of phone calls where you just don't say anything and hang up. Then you get really drunk and call her to tell her how over her you are. Then on one of these calls you break down and tell her that it's all a lie, that you stull love her and will do anything to get her back. Then you realie that this is exactly what this manipulative bitch is looking for and you go out and tryo to pick up women again, but you realise that none of them are attracted by the drunk guy with his loud mates who tells every woman that he loves her. Then you get all depressed for about a year or so and start and fail at a number of very short term relationships, all of which you compare to the most wonderful moments of the soul destroying relationship you have just been released from. Then you are single for a long time. You hang out at friend's houses, you are the 5th or 7th person at dinner tables, you go to parties hoping to meet some one who can make your patheticly lonely life seem more worthwhile. You work lellish hours and begin to get a little to friendly with your dealer. Buying 5 or six grams at a time instead of the usual one once in a blue moon. Then you think that maybe you can get back together with the ex again. even though you know you hate her, you need to have her around because otherwise you will NEVER be happy. You meet her for a drink and you eventually yell and scream at each other and then you make the sudden realisation that she IS an evil evil woman who has fucked around on youbehind your back anf who feels NO remorse for it and that you LET it happen to you. You LET it. After that you repeat all of the above steps in smaller and smaller quantities until you feel sort of happy again. Over all it should take you about 5 years to get over it.

4. Christ....every time I look in the mirror.

5. 'Cum Sucking Sluts take Black Cock in their Cunts and Ass' I was in Amsterdam with a couple of friends and we saw this little gem in the window of a porn store. We laughed ourselves stupid for the entire afternoon. It was like, the producer must have just tried to get every disgusting term into the title he could. I can just picture hiom and his homies sitting around an office seriously discussing this...."No no Deiter, it should be 'Cum sucking Whores....' 'Ach...Nels, you eediot....'Cum sucking sluts...' or nothing!!'

6. Every single Star Wars figure, and all the add ons....Lucas Film got ALL my money between the ages of 5 and 13.

Bonus: A

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Howard Roark laughed......

[reallygroovN]

holy shit rogue...i am lmao....i am bustin up over here, dude..."the soul destroying relationship you have just been released from"...what a perfect description of a relationship gone bad!!!!

i hope you dont mind me stealin' a giggle from your misfortune.../images/laugh.gif

[RogueTrader]

....sob....sob......no problems......sob....sob.....laugh away.......you're all in it together!!!!!!!

M

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Howard Roark laughed......

[13throwcenter]

yup... there you go, poop.... that is how you do it, right there!



~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[Immortal]

you are a vile, putrid little man. because of you, i'm deleting all of my posts from this board and will never return.

[vitolochica]

I can breathe a sigh of relief that you like girls in tight jeans poopy...I love wearing tight pants from Express and Bebe...I just love the way my little waist, my curvy hips, and my nice round Latina butt looks in them....damn good. I also adore Gap jeans....especially the indigo ones fitted for boots...I swear by those and the CK and Ralph Lauren jeans too......they rock my sultry world. :)

y para ser más franca nadie piensa en ti como lo hago yo aunque te dé lo mismo...

[RogueTrader]

You love your work, don't you?....Take it easy on the poor by...there is nothing worse than seeing young men having heart attacks.

M

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Howard Roark laughed......

[vitolochica]

I do Mike, I really do....I haven't had one die on me yet, but this guy almost crashed this morning while I was crossing the street...I don't think it was because of me though...atleast I hope not. :)

y para ser más franca nadie piensa en ti como lo hago yo aunque te dé lo mismo...

[RogueTrader]

For some reason that scene from Pulp Fiction came to me. The one where Butch (Bruce Willis) is driving away in the Honda and stops at the lights, and then Marcellus crosses the road stops and says 'Mutha Fucka.....' while turning to look at Butch.....

M

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Howard Roark laughed......

[RogueTrader]

Steady on there sparky......lets not over react....

M

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Howard Roark laughed......

[vitolochica]

*LOL* I remember that...Pulp Fiction is such a great movie... :)

y para ser más franca nadie piensa en ti como lo hago yo aunque te dé lo mismo...

[mtgirl]

a) there are no goddamn ppl in the chat. fuck
b) fuck dude! you had a fucking dukes tent! that is so fucking cool. if i was a little girl playing with you in it when you were little i would probably have to kiss you in there.
c) this whole hole thing. we can't do much about how it smells, altho i can see how it just wouldn't work out unless everything else about the relationship was outstandingly wonderful. would it be sweet if boxes all smelled really good tho? fyi, i've never had anyone declare displeasure in the aroma of mine..

so:
1 easy? whatever. this tour like this year? then hamburg, this tour like in usa, seattle 2

2 definately a little baggy. damn, you just made me think of the levi's this dude i like wears :-P=== anyways, tite-blech. way baggy works occasionally, but is a little dangerous

3 hmm.... i just cry alot and mope for awhile. i wouldn't suggest that route tho. the best shit to do once you're past that complete constant pain stage is to keep busy for distraction. also a little while farther down the road it is always good to have a fun little rebound dealio cause it makes you feel like you are a separate entity. but to me there is absolutely nothing more devastating than losing someone.

4 well.... your q's are so challenging poops. one funny thing was when ... god i can't think of anything except this one time after junior keg i was washing the my puke off of my best friend's dad's truck before we went to school and my friend came out and started laffing at me and i started laffing and we laffed so much that we were late for class

5 hmm i can't think of many, it's been too long, but one good one is lunachic, no where near as cool as your tmn dildoes tho

6 my little ponies

boner: a, i'd just breathe thru my mouth

cute boys make me smile

[mtgirl]

good call on that whole deal chica. also, i forgot writing to deal with break ups. totally useful tool. if i ever listen to san fran i will listen for you!

cute boys make me smile

[mtgirl]

that's my favorite part in the whole movie.

cute boys make me smile

[mtgirl]

13 knock that one right out! good fucking call

cute boys make me smile

[Abikins70]

Poopy ya filth bag - some mothers do 'ave em;)

1. Dublin and Seattle II - fuck how I wish I was at that one
2. Don't really like jeans - combats with loads of muc and cement on them with their work shoes - fuck yeah - that does it for me:)
3. Can't help ya there - never been through it.
4. Ach Poopy how am I supposed to remember somthing like that??? Anything that Rogue or Jayscott say???
5. I'm a bluesmovie virgin - prefer the real action:)
6. My First Love Doll - even at that I don't think I was much into toys. I seemed to live in my own world a lot.

Bonus(er): C

Abikins70
xxx