poopypants
03-15-2001, 12:15 PM
Delegates-
I have a dream of becoming a rock star(and i use that term loosely) and besides the unbelievable songs i have yet to unearth, i have been thinking about the life off-stage. Maybe too many Poison Behind The Musics have tainted my perception of the whole deal but i am ready to get down to business with some whore groupies. Chicks waiting for you backstage in some sultry outfit with the crotch cut out is my idea of a great post concert ho-down. I was thinking about just having my dick hang out the zipper hole and walk around letting any woman take it like it was a dream come true. My penis will become bigger than life and more exposed than tommy lee's, and maybe if it's lucky i'll give it a name("Hanger", "Claude", and "Rusty" are some early candidates). I would also make sure that backstage we had a healthy supply of jams and preservatives to spice up the oral activities and maybe the occasional ball dunking in the Smukers. It's a shame that life can't be like this even if your just the average guy, but then again I believe that i deserve some 18 year sitting on my face more than the next guy only because i can play "The Ballad of Jayne" by LA Guns and he can't. Of course, where everyone else goes wrong by either doing too much herion, or dying, or cheating their bandmates is where i succeed. I will live out the modern day rock fantasy until I'm 65 and then move to Bermuda and make babies, lots of 'em. And you can all come down to my castle and we can make this chat room reality, face to face so i can see how many of you i would pork in real life. My goal someday is to grace an episode of MTV Cribs and all of you can be the little moochers who sit on my couch and play Playstation in the background(hey, at least you're on TV right?) Tonight my friends, i will be heading into downtown Philadelphia to spice up the nightlife and check out some Guidettes. Seeing so many of them recently I must tell you about the Philly Guidette, not to be confused with the NY/NJ hussies. The female version of a guido may be referred to as a "guid-chik" (pronounced "gweed-chick"), a guidette or–in the spirit of expediency–a fucking cunt. A guid-chick tends to wear her hair in a huge configuration that resembles a bird's nest capable of housing a stork and several still-to-be-delivered babies. She wears expensive clothes that her parents bought her, but these clothes are forever going out of fashion, so they must be constantly replaced for fear of not being on top of the latest fashions. The guid-chick hates all other guid-chicks, as she perceives them as being bitches that act as a constant impediment to their being with the Italian Stallion that happens to rule the guido scene at the time. They may pretend to have female friends, but their constant soap-opera hysterics and perpetual changes in girl-allies only proves that they hate their fellow high-hairs. The best way to put down a guid-chick (or any woman, I suppose) is to call her fat. She has spent too many nights puking up hamburgers, pizza and semen, and too many days subsisting on air sandwiches and diet pills to allow a piece of slander of this magnitude to pass. Expect to have your eyes clawed out if you dare call this creature fat. Guid-chicks use their pussies to control the raging hormones of their respective stallions (of potential stallions). To a guido, the thought of diving dick-first (no condom, of course, because "they're for pussies", no pun intended) into the tangled mess of the guid-chicks fish factory is paramount in importance to nothing. No impediment–be it a "No!" from the puss-possessor or another guido–can keep him from what he perceives as being rightfully his. What follows after the courtship ritual ("Yo, bitch, lemme see your fuckin' tits already!") is a 42 second fuck to the tune of the latest dance remix. Eventually the guid-chick will find herself pregnant with South Philly Sal's bambino or Venereal Wart Vinnie's litter. If you see these women, laugh, and stay away.
Have a great weekend
1.What's the closest you've ever come to dying?
2.What is the best book you have ever read(and if i get an "I don't read books", go stick your head into a running lawnmower)?
3.This is a really wierd question that for some reason I've thought about numerous times. When you die and you are ascending up towards heaven, what PJ song would you feel is most appropriate as background music?
4.Can we dispell some nasty rumors? How many times do you shit a day?? I mean, i hear some chicks saying the shit like once every 3 days!! Now, that is wrong.
5.I would like to discuss testicles. Guys, how do you feel about girls sucking, carressing, fiddling with your beans? Girls, quoting Snoop Dogg, how do you juggle the nuts? Do you have techniques? Do you stay away from authoritative ball hairs? Tell me more.
6.What is one thing that you wish you could take back in life, just go back in time and redo?
BONUS(er):How tolerant of pain are you? You must choose one?
A)You must cut off your nose with a hacksaw with no pain killer of any sort.
B)Inhale anthrax spores and die hideously painful deaths moments later.
My Answers
1.I almost drowned when i was five in the ocean when i fell into a sinkhole and my grandfather saved me. I can still remember it today.
2.American Psycho
3.Long Road or Release
4.2 or 3, i love shitting
5.The only thing is that when i get my balls sucked it fucking tickles and i can't take it after like 10 seconds
6.Hmmmm, tough one. I would have started playing guitar when i was 10.
BONUS(er):B, i'd rather die than live and have no nose
Stunned,
Poopy "cum stained penny loafers" Pants
I have a dream of becoming a rock star(and i use that term loosely) and besides the unbelievable songs i have yet to unearth, i have been thinking about the life off-stage. Maybe too many Poison Behind The Musics have tainted my perception of the whole deal but i am ready to get down to business with some whore groupies. Chicks waiting for you backstage in some sultry outfit with the crotch cut out is my idea of a great post concert ho-down. I was thinking about just having my dick hang out the zipper hole and walk around letting any woman take it like it was a dream come true. My penis will become bigger than life and more exposed than tommy lee's, and maybe if it's lucky i'll give it a name("Hanger", "Claude", and "Rusty" are some early candidates). I would also make sure that backstage we had a healthy supply of jams and preservatives to spice up the oral activities and maybe the occasional ball dunking in the Smukers. It's a shame that life can't be like this even if your just the average guy, but then again I believe that i deserve some 18 year sitting on my face more than the next guy only because i can play "The Ballad of Jayne" by LA Guns and he can't. Of course, where everyone else goes wrong by either doing too much herion, or dying, or cheating their bandmates is where i succeed. I will live out the modern day rock fantasy until I'm 65 and then move to Bermuda and make babies, lots of 'em. And you can all come down to my castle and we can make this chat room reality, face to face so i can see how many of you i would pork in real life. My goal someday is to grace an episode of MTV Cribs and all of you can be the little moochers who sit on my couch and play Playstation in the background(hey, at least you're on TV right?) Tonight my friends, i will be heading into downtown Philadelphia to spice up the nightlife and check out some Guidettes. Seeing so many of them recently I must tell you about the Philly Guidette, not to be confused with the NY/NJ hussies. The female version of a guido may be referred to as a "guid-chik" (pronounced "gweed-chick"), a guidette or–in the spirit of expediency–a fucking cunt. A guid-chick tends to wear her hair in a huge configuration that resembles a bird's nest capable of housing a stork and several still-to-be-delivered babies. She wears expensive clothes that her parents bought her, but these clothes are forever going out of fashion, so they must be constantly replaced for fear of not being on top of the latest fashions. The guid-chick hates all other guid-chicks, as she perceives them as being bitches that act as a constant impediment to their being with the Italian Stallion that happens to rule the guido scene at the time. They may pretend to have female friends, but their constant soap-opera hysterics and perpetual changes in girl-allies only proves that they hate their fellow high-hairs. The best way to put down a guid-chick (or any woman, I suppose) is to call her fat. She has spent too many nights puking up hamburgers, pizza and semen, and too many days subsisting on air sandwiches and diet pills to allow a piece of slander of this magnitude to pass. Expect to have your eyes clawed out if you dare call this creature fat. Guid-chicks use their pussies to control the raging hormones of their respective stallions (of potential stallions). To a guido, the thought of diving dick-first (no condom, of course, because "they're for pussies", no pun intended) into the tangled mess of the guid-chicks fish factory is paramount in importance to nothing. No impediment–be it a "No!" from the puss-possessor or another guido–can keep him from what he perceives as being rightfully his. What follows after the courtship ritual ("Yo, bitch, lemme see your fuckin' tits already!") is a 42 second fuck to the tune of the latest dance remix. Eventually the guid-chick will find herself pregnant with South Philly Sal's bambino or Venereal Wart Vinnie's litter. If you see these women, laugh, and stay away.
Have a great weekend
1.What's the closest you've ever come to dying?
2.What is the best book you have ever read(and if i get an "I don't read books", go stick your head into a running lawnmower)?
3.This is a really wierd question that for some reason I've thought about numerous times. When you die and you are ascending up towards heaven, what PJ song would you feel is most appropriate as background music?
4.Can we dispell some nasty rumors? How many times do you shit a day?? I mean, i hear some chicks saying the shit like once every 3 days!! Now, that is wrong.
5.I would like to discuss testicles. Guys, how do you feel about girls sucking, carressing, fiddling with your beans? Girls, quoting Snoop Dogg, how do you juggle the nuts? Do you have techniques? Do you stay away from authoritative ball hairs? Tell me more.
6.What is one thing that you wish you could take back in life, just go back in time and redo?
BONUS(er):How tolerant of pain are you? You must choose one?
A)You must cut off your nose with a hacksaw with no pain killer of any sort.
B)Inhale anthrax spores and die hideously painful deaths moments later.
My Answers
1.I almost drowned when i was five in the ocean when i fell into a sinkhole and my grandfather saved me. I can still remember it today.
2.American Psycho
3.Long Road or Release
4.2 or 3, i love shitting
5.The only thing is that when i get my balls sucked it fucking tickles and i can't take it after like 10 seconds
6.Hmmmm, tough one. I would have started playing guitar when i was 10.
BONUS(er):B, i'd rather die than live and have no nose
Stunned,
Poopy "cum stained penny loafers" Pants