March 14, 1981

[yer ardy]

not meaning to jump on the mock-wagon either...

but...

march 14, 1981.... was when ardy said "i do"....
for better, for worse...
in sickness and health..
to have and to hold...
whether you like pearl jam or not...

20 years is a fricken LIFEtime to spend with one person...
make sure the one you choose is the one you want to spend
THAT long of a time with....





@>-->----
~there's still time to change the road you're on..

[panther-girl]

wow ardy!
I've been with my husband since our first date in May of 82 so I know where yer comin from g-friend ......

a lifetime.

but never too late to change the road you're on.....Absolutely.
hugs to you, p-girl

[vitolochica]

CONGRATS, girl I have missed you, there are AS MANY things I need to tell you... :)

Daylight fading come and waste another year. All the anger and the eloquence are bleeding into fear.

[13throwcenter]

"make sure the one you choose is the one you want to spend
THAT long of a time with..."

NO KIDDING. It blows my mind that people still think they have found "the one" at the age of 18 or even 22. Give me a break!

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[jamijams]

finding the person is related to age that greatly, however I will be first to admit that many, many things change as our minds and bodies grow. What I wonder, is, is ONE person truly supposed to fulfill all the things that you look for in a mate, i mean is there ONE person, or are we to glean different things from many people in our lives?

You bring about what you think about

[13throwcenter]

the latter. One person can NEVER fulfill all the things we look for in a mate.... to think that they can is ludicrous. They may at one time fulfill most things, through growth and change, there may come a time when they fulfill very few of them.... then through more growth and change, they may fulfill more of them again. I believe it waxes and wanes throughout life. Realistically, how could it be any other way?

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[yer ardy]

seriously, if you had asked me 20 years ago if i thought i'd still be married today to the same man, i would have giggled and said, "..ummm..i don't know..." as most 18 year olds do.. /images/smile.gif

speaking from well worn experience, i believe that you grow together..and you grow apart...one person does not fulfill what you need in this life...you get that from others, whoever the *other* turns out to be is anyone's guess.

i'm still not convinced that humans mate for life. i guess i'm sort of living proof that they do..but..i am not the same person today at the age of 38 as i was when i was 18..and neither is he...

nearest i can figure for the longevity of my bond to this man is that we have, so far, grown together, at the same pace. we have a non-competitive union, a great respect for the parents we are...and we don't give up on the little things, no matter how painful it gets... we try, we make mistakes, we learn....it's not a perfect process and it was never meant to be one.

@>-->----
~there's still time to change the road you're on..

[yer ardy]

where the hell have YOU been!?!?!?!?!
will i see you in july???

i've been thinking about you....
lemme know what's been *happening* hotstuff /images/wink.gif

@>-->----
~there's still time to change the road you're on..

[northwoodsamyII]

I'm 100% satisfied with my love. He fullfills every need I desire. I think as long as two people still allow each other to grow in life and if their growth parallels ( which it doesn't HAVE to....) one another...all can be peaceful.
Granted, I do not have 20 years under my belt, but I think it is destructive to go into it thinking that they could never satisfy me totally.....

just go with life's flow i guess.

wow...my parentals are going on 32 years this year....yowzers.

TO MY FRIENDS, I'M NOT A DRUNK DRIVER...I'M PRESIDENT ELECT.

[reallygroovN]

two of my best friends got married last may....one is seperated and talking to a lawyer and the other is pretty unhappy....

before they got married i told them the biiiiiiiiiig secret.....there really is a worse, there really is sickness, there really are bad times, there really is poorer...and you just have to make sure that the person you want to marry is the person you would want to be with EVEN WHEN you (or THEY) are sick, worse, going thru bad times and poor.

dont get me wrong, there are incredible ups....but true love is so much deeper than not ever arguing or wild sex.

im one of the lucky ones...goin on lucky13 this year ;)

[yer ardy]

such wise words....and true...VERY true....
thanks...
(thanks...for the PM too...
i tried to respond but it kept coming
back to me...duh! /images/smile.gif )

@>-->----
~there's still time to change the road you're on..

[13throwcenter]

"if their growth parallels" is the key statement... I don't think parallel growth can realistically be expected... just because two people are in love, married and spend a lot of time together doesn't mean their growth will be parallel. People change, sometimes one person does and the other person doesn't. It happens.

What I was saying about a mate satisfying you totally is that we shouldn't *expect* ANYONE to satisfy us totally for the rest of our lives, and to think someone will seems a bit naive. Self-satisfaction is what is key. It doesn't mean that people can't successfully maintain a marriage over a lifetime, it just means that no one should expect another person to be totally fulfilling every day for the rest of their lives.... like I said... love and life wax and wane, just like everything else.

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.