March 13, 1997

[Not_Trapped]

It was the greatest day of my life. Or, it was supposed to be. I was the leading scorer in my last basketball game ever. We had lost, but we lost fighting. I got home and wanted to call my girlfriend and tell her all about it. She didn't come to the game because she was "studying." Now she is on the phone telling me that she things we should see other people. Little did I know was that she was already seeing her other people and they were seeing plenty of her. That is all meaningless. Not meaningless like Nicole, but truly meaningless. I was in love with her and she didn't love me anymore. Did she ever? It is hard for me to know and even harder for me to believe. It was NOT FOR [ME], that much is true. We are fastly approaching the 13th of March in this new Millenium and the past still haunts me. I have asked God to take it all away or to help me deal with it, but I think I have to fly solo on this one. Last night I went to watch a basketball game at the very gym I played my last game in and coincidentally ended up sitting beside the guy she dated right after me. A lot of shit came together lastnight that I didn't want to deal with. I guess sometimes you just need to let it out. I don't have a physical presence available to let me get it out, so I thought I would turn to you all to let it out. Sorry to type for long periods. I hope everyone is well.

Dominic

staring blankly back at you

[reallygroovN]

hey dom....that really blows. really. but maybe you have to look at it like...is that the type of girl that you could spend forever with? she sounds kinda mean and insensitive. i dont want to tell you that you are better off without her...cause it sucks when people say that.

feel the pain, try to learn from it, try to make better choices next time.

i hope someday you have a beautiful life /images/smile.gif

[takemyhand]

I've read your post three times and how I wish I could make things better for you.

I'm sure you've heard everything already... I just hope the pain is less each and every day. No broken heart is easy, the unexpected break up is that much worse.....good luck to you.

Anne



take my hand, not my picture

[13throwcenter]

Letting go isn't easy, I know first-hand... but there comes a day when you have to decide whether you are going to allow one person to have control over your emotions even after they have been out of your life for four years.... and even when you make that decision, it still isn't easy. I don't know how to advise you on this, I only know what is working for me, and that is to chase away the thoughts when they arrive (like butterflies)... just don't allow them to penetrate. You have mourned the loss of that relationship for longer than it was actually in tact, dominic... how many more days are you going to allow it to rule your moods? You have to believe you are worthy of feeling better than you do right now, than you did even back then when you were in love. It can be better and it *will* be better... but you gotta let it be.

xox,
S.

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[meaningless]

I'm not sure why I opened yr post, I mean "March 13, 1997" is really ambiguous and no offense... not very... I mean it's not a post that screams READ ME! I think I read it cuz I was thinking about "March 24, 1994" which was the first time I ever saw Pearl Jam live, and I thought maybe that's what yr post was about... your first time... but anyway... I was so surprised to find I made a cameo appearance! /images/smile.gif

I can't really help you out, tho, with words of wisdom. Because a) well fuck, my name is meaningless so I'm obviously not much for optimism, and b) I'm having osme serious struggles of my own and I can't think.

I thnk I'll make my own pity party post now. Nothing personal. Not to discount y our post, I just have nothing helpful to add so I'd rather not make it worse or anything.

But I do hope it gets better for you... somehow...

Later,
Nicole

"if just once... i could feel love... oh stare back at me, yeah..."

[Not_Trapped]

I guess it isn't one person dictating my mood more so than me dictating my own mood. But, rather the not knowing aspect of the whole thing. Here I am whining like a baby again. If I wouldn't think about this shit and dwell on it it would go away. Yeah right, like anything ever goes away. I used to think that all I needed was to fall in love again or find a girl again, but I soon realized that that wasn't the case. So, I immersed myself in music, which is when I fell in love with Pearl Jam...amazingly enough. I guess there will always be that part of me that becomes sad during certain times of the year. March and October. Because I know that something special began and ended in those months. That is all they are though...special moments and there are so many more to come. Sadness held me down and I couldn't breathe...but what is sadness to me? I have so much ahead of me. We all do. Thanks.

Dominic

staring blankly back at you

[mtgirl]

hey not trapped, (((((you)))))). that shit sucks. lessons.... good luck with that shit, and we're here for ya

cute boys make me smile

[13throwcenter]

Some day it will be the middle of October and you will realize that you have not thought about her in years....and you won't be sad for that...you'll just be.



~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[unTrapped]

Hopefully, some day in the middle of October I will be thinking about how I am going to make my kid look like ALL five members of PJ for Halloween (in the same evening).

Dominic

[13throwcenter]

hehe....that's the right attitude!!!/images/laugh.gif (let me know if you ever figure that out!)

~.~.~.~.~
And the rivers shall open for the righteous, someday.

[Not_Trapped]

"...you can spend your time alone, redigesting past regrets, or you can come to terms and realize your the only one that cannot forgive yourself..."

that is one of my favorite songs off of my favorite album and i just realized how much it applied to me.

amazing

Dominic

staring blankly back at you