jamijams
04-03-2001, 06:12 PM
the funniest part for me (thanks for sending this smooth) is that in my offices, I think the most comonly heard word is FUCK. F this, F that....we could have a sexual harassment suit everyday I swear it....anyways...SO SO SO many ppl here at work thought this was for REALS 'cause we all have such potty moufs! /images/tongue.gif
Now laugh dammit! /images/cool.gif
TO: All Employees
FROM: Human Resources
SUBJECT: Foul Language
DATE: March 27, 2001
It has been brought to management's attention that individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that
the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner, without risk the of offending our more sensitive
employees.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!
TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Thank You,
Human Resources
You bring about what you think about
Now laugh dammit! /images/cool.gif
TO: All Employees
FROM: Human Resources
SUBJECT: Foul Language
DATE: March 27, 2001
It has been brought to management's attention that individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that
the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner, without risk the of offending our more sensitive
employees.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares?
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!
TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Thank You,
Human Resources
You bring about what you think about