a question....

[reallygroovN]

ok, so, i've been teaching most of this week. yesterday and today i have noticed the boys and girls hugging each other. never really thought about it till today, when there was a lot of it going around.

its really no big deal to me except it clogs the damm hallway when i have to get to a class that's at the other end of the school.

then i noticed one particular *hug* today and i realized what the dealio is....

the guys hug the girls and then squish them into their chest. my personal opinion....it's an easy way for the boy to cop a feel of the girls boobs. i mean, why else would a teenaged boy WANT to hug a girl? and if you think about it, it really is a brillant idea because teenaged boys want to feel girls' boobs at all costs and teenaged girls are full of empathy for teenaged boys.

so, on the way home i ask liv and her two friends what the deal is with the hugging and they say thursdays are *hug days*. i told liv that if i EVER saw her hugging a boy in the middleschool hallway, i would kick her ass :ogre: and then i proceeded to explain my reasoning.

they thought i was nuts, totally wrong, 'there is NO WAY boys think that way, maaaaaaahm' (go figure :rolleyes: )

some of these kids..... well, i dont think they are all that innocent.

anyway, it all seems pretty logical to me.

what do you guys think?

innocent hugs
or
feeling of boobs?

[yer ardy]

in my travels to the high school
last year and this year, there is
definitely more 'affection' among
students...lots of hugging (regardless
of what day it is) and lots of
"i love yous"....
little confabs are ended with
hugs all around and "i love you"
shouted out....almost to the point
where i have to ponder, are they
saying they love them cuz they
love them or is it just becoming
something to hang on the end
of a convo???

as for the copping a feel thing?
dunno...but it makes me think that
maybe some of these kids aren't getting
that hug at home and resort to a hug
from a friend...everyday...all the time
to make up for it?

not like it was when we were in school...eh, cath?
"the demonstration of physical affection beyond
the holding of hands is not permitted...."

[ProfessorFrink]

maybe it's a case of the girls trying to bump some trunks... think about that.

[rockrighter]

ok, so, i've been teaching most of this week. yesterday and today i have noticed the boys and girls hugging each other. never really thought about it till today, when there was a lot of it going around.

its really no big deal to me except it clogs the damm hallway when i have to get to a class that's at the other end of the school.

then i noticed one particular *hug* today and i realized what the dealio is....

the guys hug the girls and then squish them into their chest. my personal opinion....it's an easy way for the boy to cop a feel of the girls boobs. i mean, why else would a teenaged boy WANT to hug a girl? and if you think about it, it really is a brillant idea because teenaged boys want to feel girls' boobs at all costs and teenaged girls are full of empathy for teenaged boys.

so, on the way home i ask liv and her two friends what the deal is with the hugging and they say thursdays are *hug days*. i told liv that if i EVER saw her hugging a boy in the middleschool hallway, i would kick her ass :ogre: and then i proceeded to explain my reasoning.

they thought i was nuts, totally wrong, 'there is NO WAY boys think that way, maaaaaaahm' (go figure :rolleyes: )

some of these kids..... well, i dont think they are all that innocent.

anyway, it all seems pretty logical to me.

what do you guys think?

innocent hugs
or
feeling of boobs?
I don't know. There's only so much feeling of boobage that can occur, unless their hands are placed in obvious places.

I can't imagine the boy's chests are sensitive enough to really cop anything, but I wouldn't know. Try to check out if they're holding books in front of their laps or putting their hands in their pockets immediately afterward. Isn't it rather difficult for boys that age to not spring a woody at even the slightest contact, if they're thinking that way? Can't be said for all of them, but maybe the guys here can shed some actual, factual, firsthand knowledge for us.

[rockrighter]

maybe it's a case of the girls trying to bump some trunks... think about that. Good call. Also a likely possibility.

--

But I'd be remiss if I didn't say that some of the hugs are likely given out of caring and friendship.

[ProfessorFrink]

Isn't it rather difficult for boys that age to not spring a woody at even the slightest contact, if they're thinking that way? Can't be said for all of them, but maybe the guys here can shed some actual, factual, firsthand knowledge for us.

I spent most of highschool trying to picture that time I accidentally walked in on my great grandmother having a bath.

[rockrighter]

I spent most of highschool trying to picture that time I accidentally walked in on my great grandmother having a bath.
I bet you dreamed of teabagging her, too.

[ProfessorFrink]

I bet you dreamed of teabagging her, too.

hey, it was my boner defence-system!

[rockrighter]

hey, it was my boner defence-system!
Yeah, sure. You totally wanted to rub your hard cock all over her naked, wet body.

[ProfessorFrink]

http://www.cinerhama.com/movies/haroldmaude.jpg

how could a thread about tween boobs have turned into this?

I blame Rockrighter.

[prism]

http://www.cinerhama.com/movies/haroldmaude.jpg

how could a thread about tween boobs have turned into this?

I blame Rockrighter.
well I suppose that groovn can go up and hug some boys in the hallway and have her very own Harold and Maude moment :cheek:

[Buannan]

hugs are a necessary thing for humans...to share affection and companionship in that manner is a good thing I think

and, honestly, I can't believe you told your daughter NOT to hug anyone

how hung up on sex are we in this society anyway?

whatever thrill a boy or a girl might get from a hug is minimal at best...and the fact that they are hugging freely and sharing some care and concern is a good thing

maybe you need a few more hugs yourself?

unless the guy is trying to unhook a bra or the girl(or guy) is grabbing some ass...I see nothing wrong with it

personally, I don't believe that just because you don't understand it, it is wrong

[reallygroovN]

i guess you needed to be there, in the hallway. the kids that were taking part in the hugging were the kids that generally are in trouble on a regular basis....which partially led me to my conclusion.

i am not saying its good or bad for anyone else, just stating my observations. and if liv was giving hugs to a bunch of boys....especially some of the boys in her class....it would be a problem. she is pretty innocent, the kid still plays with dolls.

and i also wanted the girls to think twice about doing this....its one thing if both parties are innocently giving a caring hug, its a whole nother topic of conversation if its not so innocent on either party's side.

and, i get plenty of hugs and i also think its important to discuss the issue with my kids from all sides of the spectrum.

[Buannan]

i guess you needed to be there, in the hallway. the kids that were taking part in the hugging were the kids that generally are in trouble on a regular basis....which partially led me to my conclusion.

i am not saying its good or bad for anyone else, just stating my observations. and if liv was giving hugs to a bunch of boys....especially some of the boys in her class....it would be a problem. she is pretty innocent, the kid still plays with dolls.

and i also wanted the girls to think twice about doing this....its one thing if both parties are innocently giving a caring hug, its a whole nother topic of conversation if its not so innocent on either party's side.

and, i get plenty of hugs and i also think its important to discuss the issue with my kids from all sides of the spectrum.

yeah, I am apparently missing something...to me a hug is a hug...always has been...I used to hug my friends in school...all 3 or 4 of them...male or female...it was just a friendship thing

[fs0652]

well, i really dont think any guys hug girls to feel their boobs. and i really think probably 90% of the hugs were initiated by the girls anyway. its just another way to socialize and look cool that you are friend swith everyone.

now maybe if they like them, they figure this could be the first step towards eventually FEELING their boobs, but i think really it is just innocent and kids being kids

[moyboy]

as part of my work dutys i do a monthly report to a giant coporation about what is cool with teens - music, vid games, fashion, etc etc - basically a constantly evolving teen trends report.

one of the subjects a few months ago was exactly this...the hugging phenomenon....here it is:


Extreme Hugging
January 21st was National Hugging Day. Teens, mostly girls, are big huggers. Today?s squeezes, mostly intended to say ?hi,? have become so common that some schools even have policies against hugging. Bus and carpool drivers complain of delays from lengthy after-school hugging. At a school in Minnesta, extreme offenders get in trouble. Before the policy, students there were hugging as many as 60 times a day. Even 20 years ago, not many teens were into showing affection so openly....
________
Mercedes-Benz Ponton history (http://www.mercedes-wiki.com/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_Ponton)

[reallygroovN]

ah right
ah right

so, maybe it is an innocent hug. i can deal with that...

but i still have my reservations on the whole thing. and two other mom's that i talked to about it today, who have kids in the middle schools, agreed with me.

but i will lighten up... but, damm, you know, im in the school, i see these kids in action, i see their grades and what kind of students they are, what they talk about and what they do when they think no one is looking... lemme tell yas, they are different creatures in those halls then they are at home. there are definately some boys that i dont want my kid to talk to, let alone touch or hug...:ninja:

[rockrighter]

as part of my work dutys i do a monthly report to a giant coporation about what is cool with teens - music, vid games, fashion, etc etc - basically a constantly evolving teen trends report.


You poor soul.

[Om1]

hugs are a necessary thing for humans...to share affection and companionship in that manner is a good thing I think

and, honestly, I can't believe you told your daughter NOT to hug anyone

how hung up on sex are we in this society anyway?

whatever thrill a boy or a girl might get from a hug is minimal at best...and the fact that they are hugging freely and sharing some care and concern is a good thing

maybe you need a few more hugs yourself?

unless the guy is trying to unhook a bra or the girl(or guy) is grabbing some ass...I see nothing wrong with it

personally, I don't believe that just because you don't understand it, it is wrong

The all knowing Buannan strikes again. Kids are getting more rotten year by year. Random hugging in the hallway of what.. a middle school? wake up.
Kids are giving each other blowjobs in the back of the classroom. The kids younger than me were more rotten than we were and my older brother's class was more innocent than us. Everything in middle school is about looking cool and fitting in. Its not your overintellectualized idea of "sharing affection and companionship" -- Even if that IS the case in the classroom, these kids are so fucking hopped up on hormones that they don't even realize they are human. They are probably trying to cop a feel and if not, they are trying to fit in. They want to be part of the herd because they have no idea who they are as individuals yet. Seen any kids wearing sex bracelets yet?
are you one of those parents who wants to be a friend instead of a mom? Probably. Its bullshit. Kids are rotten. Kids are really rotten. They are only concerned with themselves and how cool they look. They are fucking each other in every hole, they are eating acid, they are manipulative and have no values. All kids are guilty until proven innocent. If you give them the benefit of the doubt they will walk all over you and they will walk all over teachers and become even more rotten if that's possible. I see your implication that Cathy somehow doesn't understand her kids and family or doesn't know whats going on around her? That she needs more affection in her life? Well fuck you. You are a moron and obviously don't know her. She went with her gut instinct and to get some more ideas made a post here. She didn't need to. horomonal tweens hugging each other in the hall is weird. Why don't you go to your local middle school or high school one day and intercept 5 notes passed around during class. Read them and get back to me on this happy go lucky innocent idea you have that kids are caring and benevolent and sweet and kind. Most aren't. The only ones who are are the ones who have moms like Cathy.

[Buannan]

The all knowing Buannan strikes again. Kids are getting more rotten year by year. Random hugging in the hallway of what.. a middle school? wake up.
Kids are giving each other blowjobs in the back of the classroom. The kids younger than me were more rotten than we were and my older brother's class was more innocent than us. Everything in middle school is about looking cool and fitting in. Its not your overintellectualized idea of "sharing affection and companionship" -- Even if that IS the case in the classroom, these kids are so fucking hopped up on hormones that they don't even realize they are human. They are probably trying to cop a feel and if not, they are trying to fit in. They want to be part of the herd because they have no idea who they are as individuals yet. Seen any kids wearing sex bracelets yet?
are you one of those parents who wants to be a friend instead of a mom? Probably. Its bullshit. Kids are rotten. Kids are really rotten. They are only concerned with themselves and how cool they look. They are fucking each other in every hole, they are eating acid, they are manipulative and have no values. All kids are guilty until proven innocent. If you give them the benefit of the doubt they will walk all over you and they will walk all over teachers and become even more rotten if that's possible. I see your implication that Cathy somehow doesn't understand her kids and family or doesn't know whats going on around her? That she needs more affection in her life? Well fuck you. You are a moron and obviously don't know her. She went with her gut instinct and to get some more ideas made a post here. She didn't need to. horomonal tweens hugging each other in the hall is weird. Why don't you go to your local middle school or high school one day and intercept 5 notes passed around during class. Read them and get back to me on this happy go lucky innocent idea you have that kids are caring and benevolent and sweet and kind. Most aren't. The only ones who are are the ones who have moms like Cathy.

and once again the all knowing OM is here to tell me how stupid I am
why don't YOU wake up??

I'm not the ONLY one that thinks hugs are ok...why is it that when I give my opinion..when opinions are asked for..you seem to think I am being arrogant and all knowing?? why dont' you pick on anyone else? what did I do to you OM? why have I offended you so much that you feel the need to call me out at every turn?

and, my son IS in middle school...not ALL kids are rotten
and I am NOT a moron

so fuck you

I did say that I was obviously missing something, I didn't see the hugs...I didn't realize the kids were the "bad" kids until after my post

I still think hugs are ok...unless there is some movements or something going on WITH the hugs

I do NOT live in an innocent fantasy land

you know nothing about me or my life...so back off

[jamijams]

cath, just like our conversations about cell phone, phones in rooms, tvs in rooms, etc. i think the MOST important part of this equation is that you are TALKING with your kids about these things, and why you make the parenting decisions you make
we'll have to pencil in more than 20 minutes when it gets time for teh birth control talks though!

I dont' think you were way off base to think the way you did
I'm sure the girls see it as friendly affection
I'm sure the boys are like "sweet, free feel up"
the girls probably dont ever think the boys would think that way
but GET real

ultimately your girls will know you CARE about whats going on in their day and that matters the mostest

[moyboy]

i just wanna say that perhaps we should be learning from the kids...
adults should hug much much more (even if it is just so i can feel boobies).
________
Z3 (http://www.bmw-tech.org/wiki/BMW_Z3)

[yer ardy]

this has become quite an interesting debate.
i spent 3 years of chaperoning middle school dances
when my daughter attended.... problee was there for
20 dances total....i also chaperoned a week long trip
by bus of 8th graders to washington d.c. ....yeah,
the boys hugged the girls, the girls chased the
boys, there were stolen kisses, hands held,
shoulders leaned upon. there was hair stroking, neck
rubbing, and hands slowly moving their way
up thighs. we broke up longer-than-
usual-embraces and we explained the reason for
doing so. it was not all guys doing it either, the
girls were equally involved. the hormone rage,
we all know that....hugging is, in my opinion,
an innocent gesture among friends. and, like
i said in my earlier post, these kids do this kind
of stuff all the time...high school, it's more
sincere...they only get a few years with their
friends so, i'm guessing, they need to savor
every moment.

but, lemme tell ya, i don't know what kids
you are referring to, shweta, and i couldn't tell
if your response was ultimately meant to be
sarcastic, but the kids i've been
around then and now (high schoolers) are really
and truly a great group of kids. i wouldn't label them rotten.
sure, i know there's copious amounts of sex acts
performed in middle school and high school and in
the houses of those kids whilst the parental representatives
are not home...i'm not blind to that....and if that goes
on, fine - dealt with accordingly - but you can't just
pin an "all kids are rotten" on the kids of today. i've
read notes passed to my daughter (yes, i'm nosy) the
most i've read was how much this one girl who's so
sweet and nice to me says "fuck" when she writes notes.
these are not pure and innocents, duh, hello?????
just like there weren't any angels in school when i attended.

a small fraction of the kids i've been around are that concerned
with how cool they are and how they look. but
there is so much more to them than just that.
the trying to fit in and trying to be cool is a given.
it's a rite of passage, like everything else. these are
good kids, the ones i've seen, anyway.....
these are kids who are politically motivated
to learn about their government and
discuss it's policies and, even though they're years from voting,
they still make their voice heard.

these are kids who collect coats for the homeless, food for the
hungry and embrace the physically challenged among them as
one of their own. i see these kids helping out in their
community - cleaning parks, building ramps, taking part in
local charitable functions, willingly. compassion, i see a lot of it in these kids.
more so than in us seasoned adults. i also have seen kids who
make it their top priority to do their best academically as they
possibly can, not to look cool but simply to be satisfied with
achieving something and meeting a goal and being
proud of themselves.

most, not all, but most kids are supported by decent parents who
are doing the absolute best they can with who they
are and what they have. it's one of the hardest jobs ever and
the most rewarding. there are no set guidelines.
and, rip me up if you feel the need, but
until one has experienced raising a child, 24/7/365
for 5, 13, 16 or so years, and all that goes with
it (life, death, puberty, divorce, school,
peer pressure, sex, drugs and rock & roll)
a commentary that paints such a bleak picture of ALL kids
today being rotten, manipulative and without
values..... is just a little bit hard to understand....

[rockrighter]

Ardy -
Do you purposely write your posts
so that every line is really short and breaks off
before the end of the, um, post box thingie?
Or is something in your CP set to
something weird?
I only mention it because it
makes your posts hard to read.

[Om1]

and once again the all knowing OM is here to tell me how stupid I am
why don't YOU wake up??

I'm not the ONLY one that thinks hugs are ok...why is it that when I give my opinion..when opinions are asked for..you seem to think I am being arrogant and all knowing?? why dont' you pick on anyone else? what did I do to you OM? why have I offended you so much that you feel the need to call me out at every turn?

and, my son IS in middle school...not ALL kids are rotten
and I am NOT a moron

so fuck you

I did say that I was obviously missing something, I didn't see the hugs...I didn't realize the kids were the "bad" kids until after my post

I still think hugs are ok...unless there is some movements or something going on WITH the hugs

I do NOT live in an innocent fantasy land

you know nothing about me or my life...so back off


Did you even read your initial post????
"maybe you need a few more hugs yourself?" <-- What the fuck does that mean? You didn't cast an opinion, you criticized Cathy's fitness as a parent. You insulted someone's character, not just their opinion. That's why you are arrogant and that is why you are an idiot and that's why I'll reply to your posts before anyone else's. What? Are you getting pissed because I called you an idiot? How does it feel. Hey buannan, personally, I don't believe that just because you don't understand it, it is wrong Yeah.. that means you don't get it cause you're too feeble minded or not worldly or hip enough to get it.

you said I know nothing about you or your life. Well, do you know anything about Cathy or her life? Do ya? Ever see her talk to her kids? Ever hear her talk about her kids? Ever hear her tend to her kids when she's away? No? Who the fuck are you and what do you know? Why did I attack you and no one else? Because you're 100% wrong and you take every opportunity to point out in the most skeevy and passive-aggressive manner how much you know and how much the other person doesn't. The funny part is that you're usually wrong. you're the most pompous one here, buannan.

Oh and by the way, hugs aren't necessary for classmates. You can share physical affection in other ways. You don't have to carry out "touch therapy" with a full embrace. And why did you bring up this country's fear of sex when you said that a boy hugging a girl is a minimal thrill at best? So is it sexual or not? make up your mind. And just because cathy disapproves her daughters potentially embracing some dude at school doesn't mean that she's anti-hugging. Did you even READ what you wrote????

[Buannan]

Did you even read your initial post????
"maybe you need a few more hugs yourself?" <-- What the fuck does that mean? You didn't cast an opinion, you criticized Cathy's fitness as a parent. You insulted someone's character, not just their opinion. That's why you are arrogant and that is why you are an idiot and that's why I'll reply to your posts before anyone else's. What? Are you getting pissed because I called you an idiot? How does it feel. Hey buannan, personally, I don't believe that just because you don't understand it, it is wrong Yeah.. that means you don't get it cause you're too feeble minded or not worldly or hip enough to get it.

you said I know nothing about you or your life. Well, do you know anything about Cathy or her life? Do ya? Ever see her talk to her kids? Ever hear her talk about her kids? Ever hear her tend to her kids when she's away? No? Who the fuck are you and what do you know? Why did I attack you and no one else? Because you're 100% wrong and you take every opportunity to point out in the most skeevy and passive-aggressive manner how much you know and how much the other person doesn't. The funny part is that you're usually wrong. you're the most pompous one here, buannan.

Oh and by the way, hugs aren't necessary for classmates. You can share physical affection in other ways. You don't have to carry out "touch therapy" with a full embrace. And why did you bring up this country's fear of sex when you said that a boy hugging a girl is a minimal thrill at best? So is it sexual or not? make up your mind. And just because cathy disapproves her daughters potentially embracing some dude at school doesn't mean that she's anti-hugging. Did you even READ what you wrote????
get off your high horse om

the thing about her needing more hugs..ok..it came out wrong..I should have put a wink or smiley or something in there...my mistake

I NEVER attacked her or her parenting skills...my comment about not believing she would tell her daughter not to hug anyone was simply that...a comment..I was surprised because I know that she IS a good parent and I was suprised to hear a blanket statement from her like that


I honestly don't know why you get off on personally attacking me every chance you get..but...whatever...go ahead...get your thrills

but to quote you "who the fuck are you and what do you know?"

I'm finished with your shit...ramble on om...ramble on

[Johnny Carwash]

i've hugged cathy

[fs0652]

Kids are giving each other blowjobs in the back of the classroom.
how come i never got signed up in one of these classes :) :rolleyes:

[fs0652]

and once again the all knowing OM is here to tell me how stupid I am
why don't YOU wake up??

I'm not the ONLY one that thinks hugs are ok...why is it that when I give my opinion..when opinions are asked for..you seem to think I am being arrogant and all knowing?? why dont' you pick on anyone else? what did I do to you OM? why have I offended you so much that you feel the need to call me out at every turn?

and, my son IS in middle school...not ALL kids are rotten
and I am NOT a moron

so fuck you

I did say that I was obviously missing something, I didn't see the hugs...I didn't realize the kids were the "bad" kids until after my post

I still think hugs are ok...unless there is some movements or something going on WITH the hugs

I do NOT live in an innocent fantasy land

you know nothing about me or my life...so back off
maybe we all need to.... hug? :rolleyes: maybe not:)

[Johnny Carwash]

how come i never got signed up in one of these classes :) :rolleyes:
it's in the classrooms now? it was only in the cafeteria and school buses when i was in school... man, times are changin'

[fs0652]

you're the most pompous one here, buannan.


not so sure i agree with that one...

[Om1]

this has become quite an interesting debate.
i spent 3 years of chaperoning middle school dances
when my daughter attended.... problee was there for
20 dances total....i also chaperoned a week long trip
by bus of 8th graders to washington d.c. ....yeah,
the boys hugged the girls, the girls chased the
boys, there were stolen kisses, hands held,
shoulders leaned upon. there was hair stroking, neck
rubbing, and hands slowly moving their way
up thighs. we broke up longer-than-
usual-embraces and we explained the reason for
doing so. it was not all guys doing it either, the
girls were equally involved. the hormone rage,
we all know that....hugging is, in my opinion,
an innocent gesture among friends. and, like
i said in my earlier post, these kids do this kind
of stuff all the time...high school, it's more
sincere...they only get a few years with their
friends so, i'm guessing, they need to savor
every moment.

but, lemme tell ya, i don't know what kids
you are referring to, shweta, and i couldn't tell
if your response was ultimately meant to be
sarcastic, but the kids i've been
around then and now (high schoolers) are really
and truly a great group of kids. i wouldn't label them rotten.
sure, i know there's copious amounts of sex acts
performed in middle school and high school and in
the houses of those kids whilst the parental representatives
are not home...i'm not blind to that....and if that goes
on, fine - dealt with accordingly - but you can't just
pin an "all kids are rotten" on the kids of today. i've
read notes passed to my daughter (yes, i'm nosy) the
most i've read was how much this one girl who's so
sweet and nice to me says "fuck" when she writes notes.
these are not pure and innocents, duh, hello?????
just like there weren't any angels in school when i attended.

a small fraction of the kids i've been around are that concerned
with how cool they are and how they look. but
there is so much more to them than just that.
the trying to fit in and trying to be cool is a given.
it's a rite of passage, like everything else. these are
good kids, the ones i've seen, anyway.....
these are kids who are politically motivated
to learn about their government and
discuss it's policies and, even though they're years from voting,
they still make their voice heard.

these are kids who collect coats for the homeless, food for the
hungry and embrace the physically challenged among them as
one of their own. i see these kids helping out in their
community - cleaning parks, building ramps, taking part in
local charitable functions, willingly. compassion, i see a lot of it in these kids.
more so than in us seasoned adults. i also have seen kids who
make it their top priority to do their best academically as they
possibly can, not to look cool but simply to be satisfied with
achieving something and meeting a goal and being
proud of themselves.

most, not all, but most kids are supported by decent parents who
are doing the absolute best they can with who they
are and what they have. it's one of the hardest jobs ever and
the most rewarding. there are no set guidelines.
and, rip me up if you feel the need, but
until one has experienced raising a child, 24/7/365
for 5, 13, 16 or so years, and all that goes with
it (life, death, puberty, divorce, school,
peer pressure, sex, drugs and rock & roll)
a commentary that paints such a bleak picture of ALL kids
today being rotten, manipulative and without
values..... is just a little bit hard to understand....


It's a more realistic picture than the Buannan's Barney-esque ideas. There are kids who join extracurricular clubs because they are concerned and there are kids who join because all their friends are doing it. There are kids who help out at the soup kitchens because they care and there are kids who do it because they need to put something on their resume for college. This hugging thing sounds the same as the wearing-a-pacifier-around-my-neck phase which is just as stupid as the wearing-bandaids-on-my-clothes phase which is just as lame as the lets-pinch-all-the-girlies'-asses phase. It's a phase, a trend. The hugs don't come from a real place. MOST tweens aren't precocious enough to "savor" their years by getting in as many warm and fuzzy hugs as possible. At best, they get nostalgic their last year of high school, senioritis sets in, everyone cries over the year book and then its over. And I initially missed that groovn said that the rotten kids in school were doing it. That's not a surprise. ITS JUST A TREND. There were a whole bunch of close friend cliques when I was in high which was 6 years ago. No one was holdin up the bus on account of a hug. Are you saying the kids have a greater sense for caring and affection now? What changed? More estrogen?
And the kids who do well academically. There are some who do it because they want a nice looking resume for college. That's very noble isn't it. How about when they start popping their little brother's Ritalin cause word on the street is that you can concentrate 20x harder and get your shit done in half the time? There are some who do it cause they suck at sports and are not popular and therefore have a lot of free time on the weekends. And there are those who do it because their parents demand that the kid lives up to his/her potential. The spectrum is complex -- There is the group of genuinely good kids (anywhere from the stoner who cuts class to the pointdexter not missing a single day). Then there are the rotten ones you would stroke out at the thought of your kid even associating with (and the rotten ones can guise themselves as president of the key club to the loser picking on people in the drama club). Don't discount my opinion because I'm not a parent. I've seen the other side of it.. I'm telling you, this hugging thing is a mindless trend which may have some groping benefits. There's nothing caring about it. I'm glad you've had the experience of being around good kids and I'm glad you also have the sound judgement to discern the good from the evil but I'm just say that buannan's rosy little view is pointless and potentially damaging. If cathy makes an error (which she won't but let's say she does), it will be on the side of being too stern instead of lenient. And that's good. I'm saying this from the standpoint of not a parent, you're right, but someone who was in that high school ruckus a few years ago.

[Immortal]

It's a more realistic picture than the Buannan's Barney-esque ideas. There are kids who join extracurricular clubs because they are concerned and there are kids who join because all their friends are doing it. There are kids who help out at the soup kitchens because they care and there are kids who do it because they need to put something on their resume for college. This hugging thing sounds the same as the wearing-a-pacifier-around-my-neck phase which is just as stupid as the wearing-bandaids-on-my-clothes phase which is just as lame as the lets-pinch-all-the-girlies'-asses phase. It's a phase, a trend. The hugs don't come from a real place. MOST tweens aren't precocious enough to "savor" their years by getting in as many warm and fuzzy hugs as possible. At best, they get nostalgic their last year of high school, senioritis sets in, everyone cries over the year book and then its over. And I initially missed that groovn said that the rotten kids in school were doing it. That's not a surprise. ITS JUST A TREND. There were a whole bunch of close friend cliques when I was in high which was 6 years ago. No one was holdin up the bus on account of a hug. Are you saying the kids have a greater sense for caring and affection now? What changed? More estrogen?
And the kids who do well academically. There are some who do it because they want a nice looking resume for college. That's very noble isn't it. How about when they start popping their little brother's Ritalin cause word on the street is that you can concentrate 20x harder and get your shit done in half the time? There are some who do it cause they suck at sports and are not popular and therefore have a lot of free time on the weekends. And there are those who do it because their parents demand that the kid lives up to his/her potential. The spectrum is complex -- There is the group of genuinely good kids (anywhere from the stoner who cuts class to the pointdexter not missing a single day). Then there are the rotten ones you would stroke out at the thought of your kid even associating with (and the rotten ones can guise themselves as president of the key club to the loser picking on people in the drama club). Don't discount my opinion because I'm not a parent. I've seen the other side of it.. I'm telling you, this hugging thing is a mindless trend which may have some groping benefits. There's nothing caring about it. I'm glad you've had the experience of being around good kids and I'm glad you also have the sound judgement to discern the good from the evil but I'm just say that buannan's rosy little view is pointless and potentially damaging. If cathy makes an error (which she won't but let's say she does), it will be on the side of being too stern instead of lenient. And that's good. I'm saying this from the standpoint of not a parent, you're right, but someone who was in that high school ruckus a few years ago. as someone who was in high school as recently as two years ago (with a brother who just entered high school this year), Om, i agree with you wholeheartedly. i would say more, but you said it better than i could.

[ProfessorFrink]

sometimes the folks that you think are good eggs end up being more fucked up than you could ever imagine. one kid I went to school with curbed some poor bastard and killed him. I guess he figured that the worst he could do was give the guy a shattered/dislocated jaw. I dunno. but the thing is... I would've never expected it from this guy. he was one of the nicest folks I've ever conversed with. seriously.

then there was my goody-goody-all-the-authority-figures-love-me classmate who was fucking my married (w/ sick children) tech teacher. although, she was his babysitter at the time. and yeah, he does share some blame in that whole debachle. but Miss "One of the Good Ones" wasn't exactly showing good judgement. it's alright though, they're married now.

then there's all the students who can laugh at the person with AIDS who has been kind enough to lead a school assembly for the benefit of everyone there. and then when he dies, more laughs are had.

there's a shitload of stupidity swirling through juniour high and highschool halls. from the "good" and "bad" kids. don't ever think that you've got them pegged. I'm leanin' towards Om's description of things because I saw all of that shit as well.

that's not to say that there aren't decent kids. but like I said, there's too much stupidity infecting those schools. it takes over.

the "Time Out" Generation is fucked. they've got the greatest sense of entitlement when they're at their stupidest.

best way to get even with a teacher who punishes you for being stupid: lie and tell people that he/she touched you inappropriately. see what side the public will take.

[prism]

I don't trust any teenagers(other than my own...sometimes) I think that all of them are capable of being evil shits. in my opinion yeah kids these days(I sound like I'm about a billion years old here) are a bit too touchy-feely, that being said most of the hugging you see *probably* is just innocent. whatever happened to NO P.D.A.s? they still had that when my kids were in middle school....did someone decide that it was against the students rights not to be able to grope their fellow students?



I'm just kinda curious about this whole "good kid" vs."bad kid" thing too. so let me ask you would you let the "All American kid" hug yer kid? you know the quarterback on the high-school football team, Dad works for the pentagon, Mom works part time at a upper-scale departemt store, he does well in school gets good grades, he's popular, has plently of friends....sounds perfectly harmless to let this "good kid" hug yer kid right? what if this all-around good 16-year old decides to rape the 12 year-old little girl that came over the house to play with his 12 year-old little brother?

[Immortal]

I don't trust any teenagers(other than my own...sometimes) I think that all of them are capable of being evil shits. in my opinion yeah kids these days(I sound like I'm about a billion years old here) are a bit too touchy-feely, that being said most of the hugging you see *probably* is just innocent. whatever happened to NO P.D.A.s? they still had that when my kids were in middle school....did someone decide that it was against the students rights not to be able to grope their fellow students?



I'm just kinda curious about this whole "good kid" vs."bad kid" thing too. so let me ask you would you let the "All American kid" hug yer kid? you know the quarterback on the high-school football team, Dad works for the pentagon, Mom works part time at a upper-scale departemt store, he does well in school gets good grades, he's popular, has plently of friends....sounds perfectly harmless to let this "good kid" hug yer kid right? what if this all-around good 16-year old decides to rape the 12 year-old little girl that came over the house to play with his 12 year-old little brother?
that's the thing though, you can't assume that a kid is "Good" just because he or she falls into the "quarterback/cheerleader, good parents and good grades" stereotype, because in my memories those kids are the ones who were doing the WORST stuff. it's not just the kids that have come from horrible families that feel the need to "rebel" to do drugs and have sex and whatnot, it's also the kids who have come from "perfect" homes who are just bored with their cookie cutter lives.

and i think that's what Om was trying to get at, not to oversimplify or take her meaning away at all. the fact that you cannot just look on the football field and say "that johnny, he throws a good pass and always turns his homework in on time" and qualify him as a "good" kid. it's much safer to just think of them all as horrible until proven otherwise--that way, when one of them cures a deadly disease or something, we'll all be surprised that little johnny wasn't so bad after all.

[rise above]

errr....when i was in high school people were making out in the halls.

hugs can be innocent...but yea at that age, guys probably ARE looking for whatever feel they can get. and maybe some of the girls are getting their own feels in too, it might not just be "empathy" for the guys...who knows.

BUT...i'm sure there are still kids that are hugging innocently as well.

[rise above]

wow, i just went back and read some of the rest of this, i didn't realize what a debate it was.

what'd ya do, groovN? haha...how are you sweets?

[reallygroovN]

wow, i just went back and read some of the rest of this, i didn't realize what a debate it was.

what'd ya do, groovN? haha...how are you sweets?
lol
fuck, i was out standing in the cold till 11 last nite watching my youngest daughter's midget football game...she is a cheerleader not a playah ;) and i was so freaking tired i passed out during the law and order rerun!

ok, I LOVE OM :) thank you, om....you friggen rock!!!!!!! i totally get you and i, well, i just dont have the words.

next, for the sinkin' liberal that my inlaws tell me i am, i am probablly THE most conservative parent i know.

yes, i make judgements. i am cynical. when the reallycute, smart and popular kid (that i see talking to liv) says 'HI MRS PARRY :D' in the hallway whenEVAH he sees me, yes, it makes me giggle, and then it makes me want to heave because i'm pretty sure he is after my daughter (jams, we NEED to talk again!!!)

i don't let my kids go to the dances that ardy lets her kids go to....why? its fucking scary as a parent. they turn the lights down, they play the music that i play when mr. groovN and i are alone....and there are not that many adults there, and those that are are talking. HELLO, THESE KIDS ARE 10 - 13. 13 YEARS OLD, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! now, i know that kids develop sexually, i got it, we all do it. BUT SLOW DANCING TO CHRISTINA AGULARA AT 10,11,12 OR 13????????

i'm sorry, but isnt that still considered CHILDHOOD????

yeah, i am the fly on the wall. i get to be cause im in the schools. how bout the note that a teacher found and hung up in the teacher's lounge....no one had no idea who wrote it or who it was meant for.... about these two 8TH GRADERS - 13 YEAR OLDS getting together that night and having sex...it made me horny just reading it!

and how bout the girl i saw last year at an assembly. i thought she had a lollypop in her pocket. no, it was a condom. proof when it fell out of her pocket. SHE was in 7th grade (12 years old!).

i see the rich entitled kids with absolutely no discipline, no drive, all attitude and no regard for the other kids who get in their way.

i KNOW that kids at this age have no sense of compassion. they are not supposed to, developmentally. they are developing their ego right now. yes, they actually do think that the world revolves around them. its normal, its life, if your kid didnt go thru this there would be a major psychological problem.

but that doesn't mean, as parents and adults that we need to stop teaching them compassion and, in my opinion, keep enforcing the fact that they are still children (without actually telling them because that would be just another fight).

yes, hugs are great. and compassionate. but i don't think that too many of these hugs were compassionate.

and, frankly, i think the reason that most of these children don't grow out of this phase, or take it to the extreme, is because they have either parents who dont want to say no to them or have parents who just aren't there. many of my kids friends leave their kids home alone for the afternoon and many friday and saturday nights.

isn't being a parent one of the reasons you have children in the first place?

i have no answers. none of us do, really.

but i love om1 :D

[yer ardy]

first of all, sorry for my style of typing reena. i have no explanation but i'll try to do better from now on.

secondly, shweta, thanks for not flaming me about my post. i guess we come from different worlds, we are around different kids. i can understand what you are saying, however, there are things you have stated that i just don't see where i'm from, where i came from. is that a bad thing? no. am i blind to what you see? no. i have never met you and i don't know you like cathy does, but you appear to be very insightful and intelligent and quite wise to the ways of the world already. i'm glad you have seen what you have seen regarding kids of today. i hope you can use what you've learned to make a difference in the catastrophe that has become our world today.

cathy, we have some things in common (our ages, raising daughters) and we have similar parenting issues which i totally respect your style and plans and opinions. i don't let my girls do anything and everything but i do allow my daughter to attend those dances(and other events, etc.) because we have a trust between us that is solid and true. it's hard to explain. once you get to that point with your child, you'll know. (plus, the DJ is not allowed to play those types of songs you mentioned...and the lights are never down that low...it's very controlled, the chaperones were plenty and the kids knew that..this is what i'm talking about as far as these are the kids i'm around, it's so obviously different from where you and shweta are speaking...).....do i fear for my daughter's life everyday when she walks out that door? of course. do i worry about "that really nice boy" overpowering her to the point where she is incapacitated and unable to fight back? absolutely. but i cannot and will not shield her from the basic freedom in life to experience and explore what life has to offer and i have to believe and trust that, because of what my husband and i have taught and shown her, SHE will ultimately make the right decisions and choices. from an early age, she showed us she was able to discern right from wrong and up to this point, she has continued to be mature and smart, more so that most girls her age, including some of her best friends. she is the leader, she is the one who's friends call on her for help. she takes charge and makes decisions and is willing and ready to accept the consequences of those decisions. is there a possibility that she will fail? yeah and she has, does and will continue. but how can she learn from failure if she's never alllowed to fail or experience the parts of life that aren't realistic? my daughter is 15 now, she's a good kid - she gets good grades, she plays in the marching band and participates in sports. she's happy, mentally sound and smart. she's not hung up on the latest fashion, she still wears t-shirts she wore 3 years ago and she's not hung up on "getting" a boyfriend. her room is a mess, she is forever leaving lights on but hey, do i complain? no. she was brought up with no nintendo, no computer, TV or phone in her room. she has a cell phone that she got when she was 14 and she uses it appropriately, doesn't abuse it. she starts driver's training this monday and i'm thrilled for every day she experiences something new and embraces it. i would kill or die for her and up til now i haven't had to do that. i trust that she has a great foundation and because of that she will decide for herself what to do in life that is the right thing and will make her happy. if that means hugging her friends, guys and girls, everyday, all the time, then i say go for it.

all of this development and teaching begins at home at an early age from the parents of these kids. the parents are responsible for teaching compassion, self-discipline and trust - not the teachers. the parents are supposed to be there for their kids for every curveball thrown at their child during the crucial growing/learning years. every generation has its share of displaced, detached parents and we've all been around the end result of those children with no morals, values or guidance. it's so easy to blame the kids when the finger should be pointed at their parents.

i can't save the world and every kid in it. i'm responsible for my two. in a perfect world, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

[peacefulness]

Did you even read your initial post????
"maybe you need a few more hugs yourself?" <-- What the fuck does that mean? You didn't cast an opinion, you criticized Cathy's fitness as a parent. You insulted someone's character, not just their opinion. That's why you are arrogant and that is why you are an idiot and that's why I'll reply to your posts before anyone else's. What? Are you getting pissed because I called you an idiot? How does it feel. Hey buannan, personally, I don't believe that just because you don't understand it, it is wrong Yeah.. that means you don't get it cause you're too feeble minded or not worldly or hip enough to get it.

you said I know nothing about you or your life. Well, do you know anything about Cathy or her life? Do ya? Ever see her talk to her kids? Ever hear her talk about her kids? Ever hear her tend to her kids when she's away? No? Who the fuck are you and what do you know? Why did I attack you and no one else? Because you're 100% wrong and you take every opportunity to point out in the most skeevy and passive-aggressive manner how much you know and how much the other person doesn't. The funny part is that you're usually wrong. you're the most pompous one here, buannan.

Oh and by the way, hugs aren't necessary for classmates. You can share physical affection in other ways. You don't have to carry out "touch therapy" with a full embrace. And why did you bring up this country's fear of sex when you said that a boy hugging a girl is a minimal thrill at best? So is it sexual or not? make up your mind. And just because cathy disapproves her daughters potentially embracing some dude at school doesn't mean that she's anti-hugging. Did you even READ what you wrote????

get off your high horse om

the thing about her needing more hugs..ok..it came out wrong..I should have put a wink or smiley or something in there...my mistake

I NEVER attacked her or her parenting skills...my comment about not believing she would tell her daughter not to hug anyone was simply that...a comment..I was surprised because I know that she IS a good parent and I was suprised to hear a blanket statement from her like that


I honestly don't know why you get off on personally attacking me every chance you get..but...whatever...go ahead...get your thrills

but to quote you "who the fuck are you and what do you know?"

I'm finished with your shit...ramble on om...ramble on

'K, maybe you two should hug! :nervous:

Wasn't this post about hugs, boobs, and trunks? :biggrin:

~Mel

[mensane]

soooooooo.....it took 2 years for you to reply to this thread???

[Highway23]

what the?

[reallygroovN]

christ, how we've changed...actually, how my kids have changed and gotten so much older!:confused:

i still say the boys are feelin the girls boobies during those hugs (or the girls grabing some crotch):evil:

[Highway23]

without a doubt

I pick up at least one "blowjob" note a week...no lie


and I used to do the same thing when I hugged girls (most of the time)...I'm wondering where I was when this whole post was going down though...hmm...