We all got shit

[13throwcenter]

I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately, thinking about myself, the people I know, just people in general... thinking about relationships, thinking about the history of family shit we are born into. I was thinking... man, it's a wonder we are able to function at all given the level of dysfunction that abounds in families and relationships. I've always thought that half of finding the right mate is finding someone whose baggage is compatible with your own, because we all have our bags that we bring along with us wherever we go... we don't dare let go of any of that shit... we tote it along with us so proudly. No way, that shit is OUR shit and by god, it's coming with me til the day I die, even if it kills me. I once described to someone this image I have of we people and our attachment to our shit and it went something like this…

It feels like I am walking a tight rope, a very heavy, cumbersome bag in either hand...I'm wobbling back and forth on this thin line, trying not to fall...desperately holding onto my baggage, not wanting to let go and fearing that I might. I look down, and far below me is a pit of mire, I look ahead and in front of me is a platform with a rope ladder that will lead me to this "better place"... as I look at the ladder I'm realizing, there is NO way I'm going to be able to climb that sucker with all this shit weighing me down, if I even make it to the ladder at all.... and even though I can see beautiful colors and hear wonderful sounds coming from the place above the ladder, I'm holding onto my shit for dear life, because it's MY SHIT, god dammit.... and the reluctance to let go of the shit makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, yet the urge to hold onto it is almost overbearing... even if I WANT to drop the shit down there into that pit of mire and be free of it, it seems I can't because I just don't know how; somehow, I just can’t pry my hands free of those bags, no matter what the incentive is…. Even if it is a life of relative happiness versus a life spent drowning in shit.

Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s counterintuitive, isn’t it? It doesn’t make sense. "Seems that needlessly it's getting harder"... It should be easy, don't you think? It should be easier than it is, I know that. Why do we make it so much harder than it has to be to be happy? Why is it that we just can’t seem to let go of the shit and rise above the mire?





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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[reallygroovN]

geez san, were you in the car with me this morning while i was talking to mother? i had this same conversation with her....

she is very trapped in the past, it has effected her to the extent that she is mentally ill. she just cant rise above that muck and mire...she is down there with baggage so heavy that she just cant rise above. and it effects everything about her as well as almost every person who comes in contact with her. it is driving me NUTS, as well!

i learned an easy mental trick...the past is meaningless...the future is meaningless....and right now only means what we decide it will mean. most of us live as though the past is our future and our future is right now. it is human nature. what i need to do is to keep the past in its place (learn from it, put it away) put the future in tomorrow (dream about it how i would like it to be and put it away) and live today for today's sake. all i really have is this hour and this day.

it is a constant battle to not only get to the otherside of the tightrope but to stay there.

AND i think our friends (as well as our partners) help us up that tightrope when the climb becomes too steep or the baggage too heavy....ya want some help with a bag or two...*cath reaches out a hand to san*

[poopypants]

just take a deep breath and drop that shit one by one and laugh and cry as it burns in the fucking pit. Make your way across the bridge and i'll see ya in the nearest bar.

[13throwcenter]

you call that an *easy* mental trick? I've been trying to do that all my life and have not been successful yet. Our past influences how we look at the present and the future, and I'm not sure if there is any escaping that.




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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[csmooth24]

if you hit yourself REALLY hard on the head and develop amnesia...the past is now escaped...but the downside is you won't remeber where you live...and you might have a headache...

~chris
http://www.culturedpearls.com/pearljam/images/alive2.gif

[13throwcenter]

you know, I tried that, unfortunately all I got was the really bad headache /images/frown.gif


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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[northwoodsamyII]

i really do. I think the answer you seek is in the words you write. you just have to realize that you hold the answer already.it's just not staring you down in your face..it resides in your heart babe. ...perhpas you just need a little help to loosen that grip you have on the bags to get to the ladder and get on with happiness. i love you though, you are truly a great woman.

TO MY FRIENDS, I'M NOT A DRUNK DRIVER...I'M PRESIDENT ELECT.

[13throwcenter]

amy,thank you.


thanks.


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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[reallygroovN]

all you have to do is tell your head that the past is gone...nothing you can do about it cept learn from it and you might as well learn good things that help you....no sence worring about the future cause you have no clue what is gonna happen tomorrow or even later today...how bout those phone calls or random incidents that totally change the course of your life....blammo?

yes, you can escape your past...you have to escape your past in order to be satisfied and accountable to today...on today's terms.

/images/smile.gif

[edvedderismyhero]

You say we walk a thin line but...every little thing we do adds strength and width to that line....



Lauren

Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place

[Highway23]

You know what you can do? Use that shit. Because that shit was made to make you feel bad, piss you off, make your life a living hell. Well you know what? You're stronger than that shit. That shit is the stuff that you have been carrying around, and growing anger towards. Now, you have to use that shit to make yourself stronger. I know that you can do it. It's what I do. You're right, it's hard as fuck, but you can do it. Take all that pain that has happened, or is happening, and suck it up and just twist the fucker until it bleeds and cries for help. It takes time, but you'll get it. It would be easy if you could just drop it off, and let it go. But if you do that, it is bound to come back in a pile twice as big. We have to carry that shit, and it will be there. But when you start realizing that you can use it to your advantage, and just deform it, you won't realize it's there. /images/smile.gif
I know it sounds stupid, but we all get shit on our backs that we don't want. And the stuff is there weather you want it to be or not. Use it. Learn from it, take advantage of it, and let it help you through the rest of your life.

You have friends here doll, and we all know that you are going through some shit. But we will help you through it, because that is waht friends are for./images/wink.gif

you take care doll.

jake

[13throwcenter]

Jake... that was great. Thank you. You are right, I don't think we can let go of our shit... maybe that is my problem... I've been wanting to kick it to the curb and it's an impossible thing to do. I gotta take that shit, and find a way to use it to make me stronger. Wow.

Thanks buddy.... I knew there was a reason I love you so much! /images/wink.gif


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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?