Hold My Hand, Walk Beside Me

[13throwcenter]

This is going to be a tough day.

Let me see if I can explain without going into enough detail to upset my "balance"... My son Asher, well he is a train fanatic, and when we were together as a family, we used to take trips on the Amtrak...up to Vancouver, down to Seattle... just to spend the day. Well, some of you know...my ex has been developing a relationship with one of Asher's babysitters over the past few months, all the while still pleading for me to come back to him (even up Tuesday of last week) She just turned 20, he will be 41 in June. She is also getting divorced (married at 18.)That makes me want to vomit, but it is beside the point. Today they are taking Asher and one of his preschool buddies for a train ride to Seattle. Since I found this out, it has been killing me. It's one of about a bazillion things that have been going on, but one of the major ones. I am trying to not think about it at all, or at least when I do, I'm trying to concentrate on how excited Asher is about it, although that doesn't necessarily make it any better.

Anyway... if ever there was a day I need to be distracted, it's today. I hate to ask you guys for anything more than what you have already given, but really, my friends are the only thing I can count on and I know when to ask for help. Today is a day I need help.

I love you all,
Sandi




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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[yer ardy]

ok..let's start with a joke:
"what did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?"
..."are you sure it's mine???"
(disclaimer: no disrespect to any blondes in the audience, i'm trying to make someone smile here...)

sandi...
asher is a beautiful boy who has a beautiful mom...
today is one day for him...
today is one day for you...

play some pearl jam...the life affirming stuff...
the stuff that makes you feel good....

breathe...focus....
you first...then everyone else /images/smile.gif


----------
if i had one dollar for every brain you don't have, i would have one dollar

[jamijams]

and hold on for dear life sweetie. youre such a great lady, and you have many wonderful friends who'll help keep you afloat, just call on us, we're here, and I know that I dropped everything for you on Friday, to do anything I could, and I'll do the same any day you need. Hey, here's and idea, just think about how darn cute I am, and then you'll have no choice but to smile, ok that was kinda weak, but what do you expect,the latte is too hot to drink and I'm at work on a day that most have as a holiday. Take time for you Sandi, as much as you need. We'll wait!

You bring about what you think about

[northwoodsamyII]

and i think I said something similar before..but you must be strong. you have to take care of you in order to take care of Asher. Asher needs you and he doesn't understand all that is going on I doubt it anyway. I mean, he probably doesn't get why you would be upset about him going on a train ride with dad and the tart. To him, it's a day of fun with his father and a train. he probably doesn't even notice her and if he does, he probably thinks it'd be cooler if you were there. Since you all did this activity as a family, he probably associates trains with you. so don't swaet the girl sandi. you are stronger than that. you jsut have to proove that point to yourself somehow. you're his mommy.....no one else.

now- sorry about that- if it was too personal- feel free to ream me.

DISTRACTION ALERT! DISTRACTION ALERT! ( some redneck ones..please be gentle....)

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a
southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a
time..."

A southern fairytale begins "Y’all ain't gonna
believe this shit..."






MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE:
; It has come to our attention that a few copies of the
Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been
shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia
editions you may need some help understanding the
commands.

The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the
opening screen.

It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the
General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is
shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.

Also note:

Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal
Contraption
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as the Dern
Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc
thangs.

Other features:

Instead of an error message you get a winder covered
with a garbage bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff that does stuff
documents = stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:

tiperiter................A word processor
colering book............a graphics program
addin mershene...........calculator
scratch paper ...........notepad
jupe-box ................CD Player
inner-net................Microsoft Explorer
pichers..................A graphics viewer
IRS......................M/S accounting software
IRS2.....................M/S accounting software with
hidden files
coon dog.................American kennel club
records
fishin...................Bass Anglers Sportsman
Society records.
NRA......................National Rifle Association
shot gun ................Remington Arms price list
riffel...................Winchester price list
pisstel..................Smith & Wesson price list
truck....................Ford & Chevrolet dealers in
GA. by zip code
house....................Nearest Mobil home repair
service by zip code
car .....................same as truck, just need two
lists in Texas
cuzzins..................family history usually a 3
meg file
tax records..............usually an empty file
shells...................ammunition inventory,
another 3 meg file
bud......................list of Budwiser dealers by
zip code
racin....................NASCAR racing schedule
includes list of TV stations that carry the race
car n' truck
Parts.......nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc .....................veterinarians by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
received a copy of the Georgia edition. You may return it to
Microsoft for a replacement version.



TO MY FRIENDS, I'M NOT A DRUNK DRIVER...I'M PRESIDENT ELECT.

[panther-girl]

well, I think I would be more than pissed...but remember...YOU are Asher's ONLY Mommy.....YOU!!!!
Try not to focus on the ex and the female...focus on yourself.
Turn up the music and sing and dance.
changing the subject...
oh my garsh, I saw the movie "Mystery, Alaska" yesterday and that RUSSELL CROWE....my my my....
what a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love.....
those EYES......worth sitting thru the movie to see that man.

[panther-girl]

hmmm, amy and I think a lot a like don't we...
anyway, just wanted to add that I tried to pm you sandi and it came back to me....
so here's my email.... pjpanthergirl@hotmail.com
if you feel like writing ... and not with a 3.25" pencil ;)

[StephK10]

i have no idea how to finish that, san... but i thought it was a good opener... :)

my dear sweets, this is a tough one... like p-girl said, only YOU are asher's mommy... only you...

we love ya, babe... and we're all here for you.... if i could, i'd give you a HUGE hug... just know i'm trying to, okay? :)

[13throwcenter]

and I'd take you up on that big huge hug too Steph, seems you owe me one /images/wink.gif... not that anyone is keeping score or anything! /images/wink.gif /images/wink.gif




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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[shubugs]

on your clothes!! remember, YOU are mommy, and no matter where the ex and babysitter (sounds like she needs one herself) take Asher, YOU are first in his mind. Just concentrate on the great time he will have, and the even better time YOU will have seeing the joy in his eyes when he tells his mom all about it!!!
hang in there babe, we're all with ya in spirit :)

"Push ME and I will Resist".....EV

[StephK10]

i'll make it up to you then. :)

[hedonist]

Your little one's so lucky to have YOU...today's but one day...he has you for LIFE.....

Love ya, babe :)

[13throwcenter]

well see, that is part of the problem... he absolutely adores her and I have to hear about her all the time. He won't be thinking about Mom today, I promise. I know my kid.


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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[wannasurf]

Girl................................
we can be strong for our children in ways that we might not be able to for outselves. You have my most heartfelt respect and concern. Just remember Kharma and the way it has of biting the right people - ones who may think they are "getting away" with stuff. Try this - get away from the PJ music for a while and listen to some BLUES, baby. It doesn't make things worse for me - it pinpoints the fact that I am way down sad and just acknowledging that through music helps me. Maybe it is just me, but when things are really REALLY bad I have to look at it and dissect it a little - can't look the other way.
Oh well, listen to ms. know-it-all - I can't walk through this for you, but I can walk beside you. You have such an amazing way with words and express yourself so well - what a precious gift. Keep writing.

[ProfessorFrink]

from: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_212427.html?menu=

Women's breasts rise up at right angles to the chest in space.

A reader has asked New Scientist magazine if she'd need a bra on a space mission.

It said at zero gravity breasts rise up at right angles to the chest and that she'd probably want to wear a bra to keep control of them.

Ms J Blake, of Harrogate, wrote: "I am endowed with a large bust and consequently always have to wear a bra for support. If I was flying in space in a zero-gravity environment would I no longer require my undergarment? And if not, what shape would my breasts assume?"

Peter Bond, an adviser to the Royal Astronomical Society, wrote in the magazine: "Breasts would float up and rest horizontally at right angles to the chest."

He added: "Breasts would try to become more spherical because there would be nothing pulling them down.

"If you wanted to hold them in shape, you would need to wear a bra. If you've got large breasts and they were floating around you'd want to keep them under control. If you are more modestly proportioned then it won't be such an issue."

[northwoodsamyII]

i luv ya.






TO MY FRIENDS, I'M NOT A DRUNK DRIVER...I'M PRESIDENT ELECT.

[13throwcenter]

it's hard to remember he's lucky to have me when I see the scratches on my arms knowing where I just spent 38 hours of my life.

Here's some comic irony for you... Thursday we had to get a new tire put on the Volvo, and while we waited we walked over to Fred Meyer (yeah, where PJMom works!) to hang out in the toy section. The kid gets fixated on this pair of toy handcuffs. I'm all eyeballing them, definitely NOT thinking what he was thinking!... in fact thinking of YOU, hedo...heh....(well, not like *that*, but you know...!) so I slipped them out of the package and put them on my wrists- and I'm thinking ... nah, I just don't think I could do that... and he's going MOM PLEEEEEEEASE!!!! but I wouldn't let him buy them. The kid has never ever noticed a pair of hand cuffs in his life, and here his mom ends up with the real things slapped around her wrists the next night... (and wouldn't you know it, the fucker cops who arrested me made the one on my swollen scratched wrist tighter than the other, just to fuck with me.)




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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[poopypants]

OK 13 here's my take on the situation...

First, take comfort in the fact that everyone within this post probably hates my Fucking guts which should make you laugh..secondly, taking advice from anyone named poopypants is probably a bad idea and illegal in some states...third, this piece of shit ex-husband has no respect so expect nothing less from a teenybopper chaser(no offense)...fourth, being the child(i'm 22 now) of a divorce(i'm sure half the people in here right now can say the same according to the latest US statistics) i can tell you first hand that no girlfriend or boyfriend of a parent ever means anything compared to the actual parents. I myself have both a step-mom(who i have despised since i was 7) and a very cool step-dad. I think we both know the end of the story for your ex, he seems like his life will end up going downhill eventually, without any substance except for his son. Although it is tough for you now, as long as you shower your son with love, you can never lose. You will understand some day if you are blinded by grief and anger now. One quick cure?? Daughter from philly 1.

This was the most sincere post i have ever written, straying from my usual post criteria: feces, boobs, and anal sex. Eddie put it best "the sun will rise another day"

Good Luck
Senior Poopypants aka Satisfaction Jackson aka Fahrenheit Freddy

http://priceless.bla-bla.com/Priceless-Pr2501T&B.htm

[hedonist]

That's precisely why he's (still) lucky to have you...but if you need help remembering, I'm happy to remind you........

Yeah, the handcuffs...pleasure, pain and irony...glad you thought of me though :)

[13throwcenter]

hedo: well who the hell else would I think of?!

p-pants... hey, I really appreciate your message... i can tell it was a very sincere message from your heart and it means alot that your first heartfelt message was to me.... don't let it be your last /images/smile.gif





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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[StephK10]

he's *HUMAN*...

thanks, pp...

and i'll agree with him, sandi (*GASP*) i have a string of stepmothers and step-fathers... some who i love and some who i don't... but NONE of them are anywhere NEAR my mother and father...

[shubugs]

i'm not buying it!!! she probably sucks up to him, and tries to be more of a freind than an authority figure, so of course he's gonna like her, but he LOVES YOU!!! don't underestimate kids, your his mommy, and above anyone else, you come first in his heart!!! be happy he is happy, if he hated her, you'd have a bigger problem! besides, what is she like 20? she'll be gone soon i'd bet on it!! keep your chin up, NOBODY CAN REPLACE YOU, NOBODY!!! Just being the consciencious parent you are makes you special!!
it's great he has you!!!!!

"Push ME and I will Resist".....EV

[13throwcenter]

thanks... I'm trying to remember all of this, but it's hard when our relationship has taken a beating over the past few months. I just don't like someone else being where I am supposed to be. :(


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[northwoodsamyII]

is that really where you are supposed to be???????????????????????????????????????????????

TO MY FRIENDS, I'M NOT A DRUNK DRIVER...I'M PRESIDENT ELECT.

[13throwcenter]

to be honest Amy, I'm not sure. Since these things have begun to happen over the past month or so, I've realized some things that I took for granted that I never really considered before. (funny how you don't really consider those things you take for granted)... It was part of what was making me lose it... so much questioning of my decisions. I still don't even know what I want. It's scary.




*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[northwoodsamyII]

welcome to life babe. no one knows completely what they want...and we all forget to be grateful while those things are wit us...always remembering after it's too late. Sweeite, i suggest you make a pact with yourself. let him be until you get YOU stable. At least to the point where you aren't wanting to do these kinds of things....get that clarity you so greatly need ( if I had some in a bottle, I'd send it to you overnight delivery...) then worry about men.

TO MY FRIENDS, I'M NOT A DRUNK DRIVER...I'M PRESIDENT ELECT.

[shubugs]

understood!! just know YOU are Numero Uno!!
hang in there babe, hugs from bugs :)

"Push ME and I will Resist".....EV

[merlin]

Sandi....even though I do not know you as well as most here, I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hope all is well now. As many have already told you, we are here for you, and you for us. I'm sending good vibes your way, hope you feel better and things are going better for you. Also, thanks for everyhing you do for us on CJWM!!!!!

[edvedderismyhero]

Aw Sandi, no one's taking your place, don't worry, your son will absoltelu NOT let that happen ever...he knows YOU are his only mommy, that *other* girl is just a friend figure, in your child's eyes mommy is YOU, the person who raised him and loves him and you're the person that he thinks of as a beautiful princess NO ONE ELSE, don't worry...you're the only woman who hung the moon for him...


Lauren

Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place

[13throwcenter]

"you're the person that he thinks of as a beautiful princess"....thank you for that, Lauren. That was really sweet. /images/smile.gif


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[ByzantineBug]

don't even think about reachin' me, i won't be home
don't even think about stoppin' by, don't think of me at all
i did, what i had to do, if there was a reason, it was you...
aah...don't even think about gettin' inside
voices in me head...ooh, voices
i got scratches, all over my arms
one for each day, since i fell apart
i did...oh, what i had to do, if there was a reason, it was you
footsteps in the hall, it was you, you...oh...
pictures on my chest, it was you, it was you...
hey...i did, what i had to do...oh, and if there was a reason
oh, there wasn't no reason, no
and if, there's something you'd like to do
just let me continue, to blame you
footsteps in the hall, it was you, you...oh...
pictures on my chest, it was you, you...oh...

I'm playing this for you today Sandi,..It's tuesday,so that means monday is a goner,and you are one day ahead of the last.I see you had alot of good friends to guide you through it,..
Hope today brings a sunset..
much love bug.


'And the thought of you always rises to beat me down'

[M_F_Cecil]

Sandi-
It is Tuesday, another day, make it YOURS...
All I've been thinking about the past couple of days is Breakerfall...there is ALOT of people here who love you, here to break your fall.
Take care
-Cecil

...That what you fear the most could meet you half way...

[13throwcenter]

Cec- you are so so so right, if not for you all, i would be absolutely alone. Everyone took such good care of me yesterday, and I hope you all know it would be the exact same for you if/when you are in a moment of crisis. My family has failed me, but my Jamily has gone above and beyond the call of duty.

Buggie- I've had that song stuck in my head for days now. I need to sit down and analyze it and figure out how to gain some wisdom from the words. Thank you so much for thinking of me.

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.



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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?

[poopypants]

Lucky number 13--

Ahhh poopypants has found the coast guard and we will carry you to shore. Over the past day I have been randomly thinking about your problem/s, even though i don't know you and don't exactly understand your whole situation. I don't know much about life, but i do know that if you are looking for an **answer** or a solution you are not going to find it yet...i'll just throw some random thoughts at you that i think about when i'm down and maybe they'll work their way into your thinking sometime.

1. Someday in the future you will look back upon this time and you will wish that you had done some things differently. Save yourself some of the pain of regret and do things the right way NOW. Take that any which way you like.
2.Things could always be worse, i know this is a cliche, but it is true. You have your son and YOURSELF, that is all you need.
3.My parents were divorced 15 years ago when i was 7. I can sincerely tell you that I remember almost nothing of that time. Your son is too young to have concrete visual reminders, but what he will keep are subconcious emotions that will shape him as a person forever. Remember that and be a good teacher to him.
4.Be strong, you are tougher than you think you are. Being depressed doesn't mean you HAVE TO mope around, cry, feel sorry for yourself. You tell yourself that you are supposed to feel this way so it comes naturally(it comes naturally to everyone too). Work on changing your perceptions of the different situations you find yourself in.
5.Time heals all wounds, it sucks, but it is true.

Whoa! What a whopper of a post, i should be a fuckin shrink! I will start writing a book on human emotions after i finish my current project on "Penises that Curve". Seriously though, take it easy, don't beat yourself up, it's just not worth it.

Poopy "the san paulo sandstorm" Pants

[13throwcenter]

You would be a helluva lot more popular around here if you showed how intelligent you are more often!!! Thank you for your wise words. I think I may print this and post it on my refrigerator to remind me.

now go change your pants.




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What if the Hokey-Pokey *is* what it's all about?